Jesus and Lafayette: Lafayette is a medium and Jesus’ dead uncle possessed Lafayette temporarily in order to save Jesus from rattlesnake poisoning. But don’t worry, Jesus’ evil grandpa would never actually want to kill Jesus. Jesus is his last witchy hope to leave a legacy, descendant-wise. Lafayette went back to Merlotte’s and saw, through his new skills, that Arlene’s evil baby has an evil ghost lady following him around and causing trouble. You mean that evil baby stuff is actually going to turn into a real plot line? A serious one? Wow, ok. Good.
Pam: Has to get daily injections to promote healing, stop her rotting, and start looking better again. She had to let Tara and Naomi go because a bunch of humans showed up and would have put her killing spree on the internet with their cell phone cameras. Can’t have that.
Tara: Dumped Naomi for Naomi’s own safety and joined Petunia Dursley and the other witches to help take out the vampires, especially since Pam is personally gunning her. We find this surprisingly useful and bad ass for Tara. We still don’t like her though. In fact, we are wondering if there is anything this character can do to redeem herself in the eyes of viewers after her uselessness in previous seasons.
Sam and Luna: Figured out that Tommy is a skinwalker and that Luna never slept with the real Sam, after a funny cell phone conversation where he didn’t know that she thought he was the ultimate jerk. We like that they didn’t drag that reveal out. After all, Sam had all the ingredients to figure out the truth. 1) He knows about skinwalkers and how they are created. 2) He knows Tommy killed family members. 3) He knows Tommy is the freaking worst. Sam went home and kicked Tommy out, after choking him for a little while and saying, “I wish I could forget everything about you.”
Now, we are not Tommy fans, by any means, but we actually felt bad for the kid there. He looked genuinely heartbroken to lose Sam. But we are also worried that Tommy will take Sam’s “kill Sam and take everything he has by pretending to be him” plan into his head. After all, what else does Tommy have to go to or to do? Stupid move, Sam.
Bill: Found out about Petunia Dursley’s possession by powerful, dead necromancer Antonia through Luis shooting him in the chest and saying “resurrection.” Bill healed and sent all of the vampires (except a few) out of town and bunkered down with Jessica. He ordered all remaining vampires to chain themselves down with silver so that Petunia Dursley wouldn’t raise them from the dead and have them walk out into the sun when dawn came. He stopped by Sookie and Eric’s to warn them to do it too, and that was nice. Who knew Bill would make such a good and trustworthy king?
Sookie: Had plenty of sex with Eric and then comforted him during the big incident. The two new lovers have a conversation about whether Sookie will still want Eric if he regains his memory. Her answer was pretty much, “Maybe. I hope so.” That’s promising. That means that her memory of who he is underneath his experiences and her memory of their time together might trump the times he acts like a jerk. And, really, he was adorable when he was a jerk most of the time anyway. So, who cares? We know they are going to be together for a while. We hear that it’s that way in the books. The only person who will be sad about that is Bill. We think he’s handling things well this season and being an honorable guy, but we don’t want Sookie back with him.
Jessica: Had a hard time with the silver, and it was sad. She confessed her doubts about her relationship with Hoyt to Bill and then thanked Bill for turning her and being her vampire daddy. Bill didn’t chain her up securely, so she managed to get up and out the door when the sun came up. We ended on that “cliffhanger.” We put that in quotes, because we are pretty sure that Jason is going to save her.
Jason: Jason is still crushing on Jessica. When Jason heard from Sookie that the vampires would rise, he ran off to save Jessica. Because, yes, the witches wasted no time in getting a circle together and trying to kill of the vampires. There was a really funny moment with Hoyt’s mom where one of her neighbors walked out into the sun with curlers and a bathrobe on. She burst into flames and Hoyt’s mom exclaimed, “I knew it!” Good stuff. Maxine is a great character. There's so much hilarity to be had there, and we feel like almost every episode delivers as far as Maxine goes.
This season has wasted no time getting things to happen, getting characters to realize things, and moving the show along. We approve. This episode left us wanting more. It's safe to say this show is back as far as quality summer entertainment goes.
Episode grade: A-