Glee - The Purple Piano Project (Spoilers)

So many people are happy that Kurt and Rachel got knocked down a few notches on Glee last night. These two were sympathetic in the first season (particularly the first half) but seem to have lost something in the second season. Rachel was always ambitious, yes, but she lost some of her sweetness.

Good job bringing Jacob’s season intro and summer recap back. It’s a good way to fill us in on what’s happened. Oh Sam, we miss you and your dorkiness. You should have been a regular for your Sean Connery impression alone. We loved hearing Kurt and Rachel’s aspirations for the future, but Kurt is going to have a hard road ahead of him. Sure, he will probably be able to legally marry by 30, but a musical college might not work out once he realizes that autotune won’t be available.

We hope that Lauren is still on the show, because she is funny. We will have both Artie and Tina next year, because they are juniors. Ugh, more Artie rapping. We like that the show is tackling not knowing who you are and what you are going to do at the age of 17, a problem that confronts most teens, because how are you supposed to know any of that before you can legally rent a car? Finn may be the relatable one this year on the show.

Just when you thought Glee couldn’t get any gayer, Will brought out the purple piano project. Fortunately, it didn’t take Sue long enough to start destroying them. If Glee is going to be this positive, loud show, it needs its villain terrorizing the glee club. Sue is currently losing a political race, so she decided to hate on something to get voters. We suspect that’s why many politicians join hate bandwagons. She picked opposing the arts in schools.

Wemma is finally on, but for how long? It is this show, after all. While Will and Emma are sharing a bed, they have not yet copulated, so maybe we should separate their names for a while. We’re team Will here, but Emma gets points for handing Kurt a “Me and My Hag” pamphlet. One of us died laughing at that. That said, we love that Rachel and Kurt are still friends.

What’s up with Quinn? We kind of like the hair, but joining a group called “The Skanks” seems a little self-destructive for one of the smarter (intellectually at least) characters. We guess she's finding herself. She’s like Rizzo now, fully embracing slut-itude and eschewing the Glee club in favor of black nail polish, leather, and cigarettes. Heh. A part of us likes this. Also, note that Rachel is probably the wrong person to try to talk Quinn into coming back to the Glee club. Also also note that if Quinn was actually turning into Rizzo, she would be singing more. Just saying.

Sixteen minutes in, we got the first musical number, “We Got the Beat” originally by The Go-Go’s. We liked the use of Brittany, Santana, and Rachel in the performance, and this song fit the show. There was fun execution, even though we wondered at how annoyed we would be if we were trying to eat lunch and people started dancing on our tables, especially when Brittany was lying down on one. This was our favorite song of the night, but it wasn’t one we’d like to buy. It’s just too familiar of a tune.

Will this show ever adequately explain how, if the Glee club members are so uncool, they get hipster guitarists and other good musicians to play with them? Or cheerleaders to dance behind Darren Criss (ok, that really doesn’t need an explanation)? We’re getting sick of this “misfit” theme that Ryan is trying to put on this show. The theater kids are usually cool. Maybe not in a small town? Still, we think that in reality, most of these kids would be the cool kids. Just because Ryan wants to merge his own life themes with music doesn’t make it believable. As usual, no one clapped. Unrealistic. People aren’t that mean, even in high school. The misfit thing feels forced at this point, with these pretty, talented people getting shunned all the time.

Then there was a food fight. After the Britney Spears sex riot, we thought a food fight would be tame, but the look on Rachel’s face was worth watching the cliché. It was an especially vicious food fight, funny in its darkness, not a happy, kids-gone-wild one where everyone is enjoying themselves as they are covered in food. After that, Sugar Motta tried out for the club. It’s about time this happened. There are plenty of tone-deaf kids who want to sing, and lots of them are in high school. We love Coach Beiste’s pig squeal and the advice she gave to Will. It does no one any good to encourage a delusion.

The next musical performance was “Ding Dong the Witch is Dead” by Kurt and Rachel. This was one of their most unbearably obnoxious moments yet. Maybe it was the choreography and maybe it was their overconfidence. Part of it was Rachel’s flashy attempt at cuteness. She does not do cute well. She does powerful fantastically. Cute? Not so much. We just wish that Rachel could turn into a character we can like again by graduation. We have a fondness for her that we developed in the first season, and we want the writers to do a once-relatable character justice in the end.

Will topped the gayness of the purple pianos by glitter bombing Sue. We think it sullied the creativity and hilarity of gay rights glitter bombing by stealing it. Blaine transferred to McKinley and sang “It’s Not Unusual.” This was alright, but we don’t like Darren’s hair gelled down like that. We love Les Mis shout-outs on this show, and having a flamboyantly gay competitor for Kurt named “Gavroche” had us chuckling. The Glee Project fans got a treat when they saw Lindsay, the fourth runner up, sing "Anything Goes"/"Anything You Can Do I Can Do Better". Did anyone else think that she looked angry when she was singing? She did a good job on her songs though, and the show runners gave her one that was perfect for her voice. It was fun to see her and she was well-placed in the episode. If the other Glee Project contestants are used as smoothly, we will be pleased.

Kurt and Rachel, if you were intimidated by tap dancing, you are not tough enough for this business. Was the number really better than what Rachel and Kurt are capable of? It looked like it was just bigger. Rachel has a better voice than Lindsay on Lindsay’s best day. The greatest threat was the fact that Rachel and Kurt’s looks and personalities were similar to their competitors. It was a nice lesson for them to learn at this point and it should help them to work hard this year, hit the Broadways songs hard, and drive our group to a Nationals win. If they should fail, well, we don’t think there is anything wrong with doing community theater as long as you are enjoying yourself.

In the end, Rachel decided to try to bring West Side Story to McKinley, with herself as Maria, of course. We raised our eyebrows, because Maria’s songs are higher than the ones Rachel has been rocking for the last season. Does she still have those notes? That will be interesting to see. If they do West Side Story, we know a great part for Santana…. And now one of us is hoping this happens ASAP. Kurt is running for senior class president (and what is he thinking? Is he popular? No). Then Santana was thrown out of the club for treason- piano burning. We get that Mr. Schue was sick of her being disloyal to the club. It’s about time he nutted up and forced her to be a team player.

The last song was “You Can’t Stop the Beat,” and when you listen to the track without watching all the dancing and smiling, you might notice that the Glee version lacks energy. It just doesn’t have the oomf and “bring down the house” factor that other recordings have. Everyone had ridiculous facial expressions too. What was that cross-eyed look, Britt?

We have finally accepted that this show is never going back to its season one tone. Season two tone has won out. We are just going to have to like the show for what it is now. A show with plotlines, romances and characters that are dropped quickly. A show with too many main characters. A show with characters who act in unexplainable ways. A show with what one writer called an “angry undercurrent.” A show that’s constantly on a soapbox. But we will keep watching, because even at its worst, Glee is fun. And there’s always the music.

Good lines: “Why is the dinosaur eating the Jew?” “That (chopstix) might be the national anthem of your country.” What this show needs now is some fresh meat for the club. We need the new characters to be good and to stick around. The show has done all it can with its existing Glee club members, we think. Oh, and bring Sam back.

Episode Grade: B