-books -dates -Lists -Movies -Music -musicals and broadway 24 30 Rock 666 Park Avenue Alcatraz Alias America's Next Top Model American Horror Story American Idol Americans Are You There Chelsea? Arrested Development Arrow Awake Awkward Bates Motel Being Human Ben and Kate Bent Best Friends Forever Better with You Big Bang Theory Big Brother Big C Big Love Blue Bloods Boardwalk Empire Body of Proof Bones Borgias Boss Breaking Bad Breaking In Breaking Pointe Bridge Bunheads Camelot Carrie Diaries Charlie's Angels Chicago Code Chicago Fire Chuck Community Continuum Copper Cougar Town Cult Dark Tower Deception Defenders Degrassi Dexter Doctor Who Dollhouse Don't Trust the B---- in Apartment 23 Downton Abbey Elementary Emily Owens MD Enlightened Episodes Event Fall Falling Skies Family Tree Felicity Finder Firefly Following Fosters Freaks and Geeks Friday Night Lights Friends Fringe Game of Thrones GCB Gifted Man Gilmore GIrls Girls Glee Glee Project Good Wife Gossip Girl Grey's Anatomy Grimm Hannibal Happy Endings Harry Potter Hart of Dixie Hawaii Five-O Hell on Wheels Hellcats Hemlock Grove Heroes Homeland House House of Cards House of Lies How I Met Your Mother How to Be a Gentleman How to Live with Your Parents (For the Rest of Your Life) I Hate My Teenage Daughter In Treatment Intervention Jane by Design Jersey Shore Justified Last Man Standing Last Resort Life Unexpected Lone Star Longmire LOST Louie Lying Game Mad Men Make it or Break it Man Up Mindy Project Missing Mockingbird Lane Modern Family Mr Selfridge Napoleon Dynamite Nashville New Girl New Normal Nikita Nine Lives of Chloe King No Ordinary Family Off the Map Office Once Upon a Time Originals Outlaw Outsourced Pan Am Parenthood Parks and Recreation Perfect Couples Person of Interest Playboy Club Pretty Little Liars Prime Suspect Psych Raising Hope Real Housewives of New Jersey Revenge Revolution Ringer Rob Rookie Blue Running Wilde Saving Hope Scandal Scrubs Secret Circle Secret Life of the American Teenager Sex and the City Shameless Sherlock Smash So You Think You Can Dance Sons of Anarchy South Park Southland Suburgatory Supernatural Switched at Birth Teen Wolf Terra Nova The Fall The Fosters The Killing The River The Voice Touch true blood Twisted Two and a Half Men Two Broke Girls Under the Dome Unforgettable United States of Tara Up All Night V Vampire Diaries Veep Vegas Veronica Mars Walking Dead Web Therapy Weeds White Collar Whitney Whole Truth Wilfred Work It X-Factor X-Files Zero Hour

Wednesday, September 15, 2010

Life Unexpected Premiere Review.

We missed this touching family show. Sometimes we like our shows to lack cynicism, a homicidal protagonist, a big geeky endgame, or dry, dark humor. Sometimes. And when we do, we head straight for things like Life Unexpected, since Gilmore Girls is over.

At the end of last season, Baze had just walked in at the end of Cate and Ryan’s wedding, trying to stop it. Cate made the right choice. At the start of the episode, Cate and Ryan had just returned from their honeymoon in Vegas. They took Lux with them. How perfect is Ryan still, letting a 16-year-old come on his honeymoon vacation? Next time Lux whines about what a bad mom Cate is, one blogger will want to remind her that Cate took her to Vegas. One blogger's mom took her SISTER to Vegas…. (Just kidding Mom, you’re better than Cate. Prettier too.)

About six minutes into the episode, a desperate and pathetic Bug attempts to lock Lux down by proposing. Showing a lack of assertiveness that is very realistic for a 16-year-old character, Lux said yes because she had trouble saying no. Meanwhile, Cate and Ryan got a new co-anchor, Kelly, who is a “born-again virgin," and had conservative views on women and marriage. Because this is TV, Kelly was painted as a one-sided, unsympathetic villain from the first moment she was shown. She is the sort of conservative woman who hates women, and Cate was her newest target. Kelly’s role in the episode was to pick apart Cate’s life, saying that if Cate tried to do it all, Cate couldn’t do it well.

Baze had yet to have the awkward “I tried to ruin your new marriage" conversation with Cate, so Cate agreed to meet Baze alone in a park to talk. We don’t think that new co-host is going to have that much trouble picking apart Cate’s marriage. Baze and Cate had an emotional, boring, and predictable fight in which Cate said mean things.

Lux went over to visit Baze. Upon finding out that Baze wasn’t there, she parked herself behind his bar and started serving liquor to the first cute guy who rolled up to the counter. The cute guy, Eric, easily convinced Lux to drive in the middle of the night with him to see the ocean for the first time. His point was that a young girl should not get married if she had not experienced the world yet. Fortunately, Kelly was out of earshot for this particular TV lesson…To make a long, dull story short, Lux ended up kissing Eric. This was not surprising, because it was night, the two were perched on a high platform, and they started playing what we would call “kissing music.”

That night, rather than making sure her daughter (who has a boyfriend she tried to live with and has exhibited poor obedience skills in the past) is really where she said she was going to be, Cate got drunk and complained about Kelly. She told Ryan, “In our marriage, we both wear the pants.” Not to be Kelly or anything, but there is no better way to put a damper on your new marriage than to start emasculating the hubby, even if you’re right. A lot of a guy’s identity goes into “being a man.” If you’re a man too, what’s he got left to do? But it’s Ryan, so he will take it with a smile like the perfect kicked dog he is.

A saddened, abandoned Baze slept with his horribly grating new bartender (Dean’s wife from Gilmore Girls). As she was doing her walk of shame out of the bar (distracted by a cell phone. Girls like that are always messing with a cell phone when they should be paying attention), the bartender threw her cigarette into a trash can, and it caught the whole place on fire. She walked out, still yammering. Don’t smoke, kids. Baze got out of the bar just in time for it to explode a little bit. Finally this show gets some action. All it needs is for Jack Bauer to run in and shoot that stupid bartender in the leg…Baze called Cate during her show, and Cate told Baze that Lux was in the building. Baze ran into the burning building, panicking, to save Lux. Call us softies, but we were touched. Baze has become a real dad. Sadly, Baze is not fireproof and lands in the hospital with second-degree burns that, thankfully, don’t harm his hot face.

Lux showed up at the hospital, lied about where she was, and her excuse was “my phone was dead.” Child, when you stay out all night, bring your phone charger in case your parents notice and start calling. That's Delinquent 101. Cate and Baze had a nice talk at the hospital. Then Cate ruined it by not denying that she would have chosen Baze if he had interrupted the wedding earlier. Lux then saw Bug and took back her “yes.” It must have been seeing the earring and spider web tattoo again that did it. Or maybe it was the fact that when girls have good dads, they don’t have to run off with the first moron who winks at them and gives them a ring…

Now for the end of the episode twists:

Twist 1: Cate got fired, and Ryan knew it was going to happen. Is that right? Also, Ryan loses any points he might have had from us for his Robin Williams impression (Good Morning Portlaaaaaaaaaaaand) and for his fake, manipulative speech on the first broadcast without Cate. We guess Ryan isn’t a perfect kicked dog after all. And this plotline may open up new opportunities to develop the Cate character in the future. Cate, Kelly told us to tell you that at least you have a husband now who can support you during your time of unemployment!

Twist 2: Eric is Lux’s English teacher.

Twist 3: Stupid bartender is Ryan’s sister who is back in town. Ughhhh. Oh well. Last year, the NY Times reported that over a thousand people went to the emergency room for “accidents that occurred through texting while walking.” Maybe stupid bartender will be next.

Episode grade: B


  1. I'm really hoping that this episode is the honest to goodness end of Bug, at least until Lux falls in love with someone else and Bug makes an inevitably well-timed appearance back into her life during sweeps. Lux has slowly but surely been making the transition from street urchin to regular teenager, and the Bug situation was one of the final holdovers from her Dickensian former life. This show is about nothing if it's not about growth!

    Also, who's Julia, and why is Ryan having clandestine phone conversations with her? I fear for this marriage because of all of its foundational lies.

  2. We agree about Bug. He's such a whiner anyway.

    We're kind of sad that the Ryan/Cate marriage is probably not going to work out. We think it would be way too "The Parent Trap" for her to end up with Baze.