America's Next Top Model - Zac Posen review/recap

Another thing we don’t like about Ann: her voice. It’s about a million decibels lower than it needs to be. We get the feeling that this is from lack of confidence, which is less than attractive.

For this week’s challenge, the girls had to do a runway walk, with professional models, wearing Zac Posen designs. The real models were instructed to be as mean and cutting toward the top model contestants as possible. We knew Ann would crack on the walk. Any minor comment can completely stop her from liking herself. Chris was funny in reaction to the mean models. She just handled it and kept her shell-shocked, “for real?!!” faces for the one-on-one interviews later. The funniest thing about the challenge was Esther’s walk. It looked like she was drunk. We kept wanted to yell, “Close your mouth, Esther,” through the screen. For the whole episode, her mouth just hung open like she thinks that’s sexy. We also decided that Esther kind of looks like a busted version of Megan Fox, especially while filming the commercial (to be discussed later). Kayla had a lot of elegance, but Chelsey wanted it the most. Determined to impress Zac Posen, Chelsey focused and won the challenge. During the judging, Zac Posen made a comment implying that he could rely on Chelsey, so good for her.

We felt a little cheated that there was no photo shoot. Instead, it was a commercial for some beverage that paid to be on America’s Next Top Model, and the girls had to roller skate while speaking and end it with kissing a male model. Kayla had a huge problem with that last bit and started crying before the commercial filming. At first, we rolled our eyes. So what if she’s gay, just do it. Then Kayla revealed to Jay that she is afraid to touch guys because she was sexually assaulted by a guy at the age of 11. Ok, when you hear that a little girl was abused, it takes all the fun out of watching this show. It was sad and awkward. We watch ANTM to laugh at potential models. The thing is, how can Kayla be a professional model if she is afraid to touch guys? Photo spreads, advertisements, and commercials all require it. And then if you want to break into acting, as a lot of models do, most girls in movies exist to be a guy’s romantic interest. In reality, Kayla would have to go to therapy and figure out how to push past this in order to work as a model. But for now, we just wanted Jay to tell her that she didn’t have to do it. We didn’t want to see it, and we didn’t want to see her cry anymore. It was just too sad. Also, Kayla had never told anyone about the abuse. Ladies, you have to share this with someone or you will never heal, which is exactly what Jay said to Kayla. It was a good message for girls watching the show, so we will forgive it for exploiting Kayla by putting her admission on national television.

It was painful for us to watch Kayla do the challenge, but she pulled it off well enough. It has been said by one of our favorite blog readers that Liz has “a stank personality.” We actually think she is nice. She is just unprofessional. It’s an immaturity. She likes to complain, play the victim, laugh, get drunk alone, and be inappropriate. Nigel, who directed the shoot, is completely over Liz, which doesn’t bode well for her, because he is a judge. Chris rocked the commercial, even though some of her moves were a little cheesy. Ann cracked again, acted pathetic, talked in her low voice, and fell on the skates about three times. We laughed. This is why Kayla is our pick for the win. She takes good pictures, she’s classy, she’s elegant, she’s cute, she likes herself more than Ann does, and she is able to pull off a win under pressure. We don’t think Ann could exist in this business and not break down. We like Chelsey too, and Jane is growing on us, even though her speaking voice is shrill and annoying.

During the judging, Liz cried and started talking about her daughter. She really shouldn’t talk when she cries; it makes her voice sound like Ann’s. Thankfully, the judges didn’t make Kayla re-tell her story to defend herself for looking uncomfortable with the guy in her commercial. This time, plenty of the girls did a bad job and could have gone home. Esther was flat and lacking in personality, so she ended up in the bottom two with Ann. We rolled our eyes at the screen, because we knew Ann was staying. She is more entertaining and she takes great pictures. This episode needs a shocking elimination soon. Sure, we agree that all the people the show dropped deserved to go home, but we don’t like to be able to predict it this well. Tyra told Ann that she needed to embrace her awkwardness. This is great advice. You will never change your personality, so take what is good or endearing and work it. One of us wishes she had known this when she was younger.

This episode should get an A just for the many uses of the word “dreckitude,” but we’re going to give it a B for entertainment value.