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Friday, November 5, 2010

America's Next Top Model - Margherita Missoni recap/review

The girls were pranked by Tyra when they were taken to a bridge and told they had to dive off of it and swim, and that was how the judges were going to get a photo. Of course, Ann can’t swim, so she wigged a little. Sadly, we didn’t get to see her try. Tyra floated under them in a gondola and announced via theatrics and a diva monologue that the girls were going to Venice, Italy. LUCKY. We are even more over Ann than usual, because we found out that she is from Texas. She is from TEXAS, and she has no personality? We don’t know if our readers have ever spent a lot of time in most of Texas, but the people there are loud, proud, friendly, and laugh a lot. We guess we shouldn’t stereotype, but we have never seen a Texan like Ann. Her performances have started to deteriorate, so we think we are seeing the slow end of Ann as a fierce competitor. We liked her at first, but now she’s just boring and sad. We KNOW that we shouldn’t hate on people because of their personalities, but this is reality TV, so we are allowed to.

In Italy, a bird pooped on Liz and Jane. Red flags went up as we heard Liz whine. If the show was airing it, it must be important. It must mean Liz is going home. In this episode, we got a total of six complaints from Liz, and that is counting a complaint montage as one complaint. At this point, we were starting to come around to the opinion that Liz has a stank personality. She has been warned and warned about this, so we didn’t feel bad at all. You know who we love lately? Chris. She was overpowering and a little bit of a jerk at first, but she’s fantastic now that she has calmed down.

The girls had a period photo shoot modeled after the Casanova story. They put three girls in a gondola with a hot Italian guy and took pictures. The ladies were supposed to like as if they were pining over him. The weather was warm, so the corsets, coned bras, big skirts, and high necks were uncomfortable. You could see Liz’s complaints coming a mile away. Ann was awkward and scared in the shoot, but of course she looked decent in the photo anyway and was not in the bottom two.

Then, the show moved the girls to Milan, where they met Missoni and her daughter/heir, Margherita. The girls were dressed in winter wear to walk in during panel. Remember that it’s hot in Italy. Chelsey almost passed out at judging. We thought Tyra’s dress was way too small for her at panel. And why does she always get an English accent when she introduces Nigel? The judges raved over a duck-faced shot of Chelsey, that looked just ok to us. Kayla had the best photo, even though she had no chemistry with the male model. Chris and Liz were in the bottom two, and we knew who was going home. How do we know? When the show refocuses on the home life of one of the models when there is really no time for it and spends lots of time filming her faults and feelings, she is going home. This show is getting too predictable. There was no way they were going to ditch fun Chris just for looking like she was afraid of a giant crow in her picture. Especially after the bird pooping incident early in the episode. Liz definitely had the worst, skankiest photo. This season has been less whorish than other seasons, because the focus is on high fashion. High fashion is about looking thin and rich, not about looking sexy. Liz was too pretty for high fashion anyway. We wish Liz luck. No, we wish her family luck, because they are the ones who are probably still hearing Liz complain about losing the competition.

Episode grade: B


  1. Oh, ANTM, your misogynistic shoots would be genuinely offensive in any other situation, but we don't take you seriously enough to complain. Seriously, a masked man in quasi-period dress, sitting on a gondola strattling one woman, while two others try to sex him up on the side? Gross!

    I'm starting to see your earlier point about Jane not being worthless. I think she's this season's sleeper modelestant. Surprise finalist maybe?

    Ann is what we Texans call a weird Texan, but she'll probably be returning there after this show is over, as her low self-esteem will likely stop her from pursuing this career much further.

    Now that Liz has left, Chelsey easily slides into my "most stank personality" category. I find her irritating. She's this season's "I'm older and wiser than everyone else, so I can complain about them all the time" girl. Ugh.

    And, was it just me, or were those Margherita Missoni clothes on the fug side?

  2. Hilarious comment. And yeah, way fug.