Quinn resisted, but Sam caught them having a moment and wondered why all the girls but Quinn were paying to kiss Finn. (It’s getting really annoying to write about these two, because of the rhyming names. We hope the tryst is short-lived.) Sam confronted Quinn and Quinn had to kiss Finn in order to prove to Sam that she, Quinn, was over Finn. (UGH!) The result? Fireworks. So they went into the auditorium to secretly make out. Santana saw the guilt and evil on their faces and figured it all out. She infected Finn with mono at the kissing booth, and Finn passed it to Quinn. Santana can definitely be a bitch, but that was awesome. Quinn then decided to stop cheating until she decided what she was going to do about Sam.
Puck started off the episode describing to us his hilarious crush on Lauren. We expected Lauren to fall into his arms immediately, but the great thing about this relationship is that she didn’t. She made him work for it, saying, “I'm not desperate, so if you really want this, you best come correct.” LOVE it. He sang for her (“Fat Bottomed Girls”), asked her out repeatedly, got her a candy ring, bought her chocolates (Lauren--“Your chocolates sucked.” Puck—“But you ate them all.” Lauren-- “I had to make sure they all sucked.”), and still she made him earn it. We also found out that her seven minutes in heaven with Puck were disappointing for her. She walked out on him. (Puck: “But that was only three minutes.” Lauren, sadly: “Three minutes I’ll never get back.”) She finally caved when Puck said that it wasn’t only her curvy physique that impressed him, but the fact that she was just as bad ass as he was. This is true. We saw her go up against Santana this episode. First, she called Santana out for being a bitch, and then when Santana tried to fight Lauren for stealing her man, Lauren tossed Santana around like a rag doll until Beiste broke it off. Hilarious, but a bit hypocritical for the school (and fans) to take such a hard stance on violence in some cases but not others. Lauren told Puck that she wanted to take it slow. This plotline could be another disastrous, unrealistic situation like the time Will kissed Beiste, but these two characters are so funny that it works. It’s not patronizing, because it’s done believably/handled well.
The saddest plotline involved Kurt and Blaine. Blaine admitted to Kurt that he had a secret crush who he wanted to sing to on Valentine’s Day. Blaine asked Kurt if Kurt thought that was lame. Kurt, assuming Blaine meant him because they have been spending so much time together, insisted that it wasn’t lame at all. Sadly, Blaine ended up singing to a Gap employee and getting him fired. Also, the Gap guy is too old for Blaine and not interested. What’s wrong with you Gap guy? If we could be assured a relationship with the super-sexy Blaine, we would undergo sex change operations. Blaine sang “When I Get You Alone” by Robin Thicke to the Gap guy, and let us just say, that’s been playing on our iPods nonstop since yesterday (and our computers since Sunday). Ern has been humming it in law school. SO catchy. But Leeard would like to make it clear that she loves, and deserves to love, both this song and Darren Criss more than Ern. It's an ongoing debate, and Leeard will win eventually. Just for the record, we both would've swooned had Darren Criss serenaded us at work. Anyway, Kurt told Blaine that he had a crush on Blaine. The future of this relationship was left on an uncertain note, because the two don’t want to ruin the friendship. It was really great to see Blaine show his vulnerable side. It makes us love him even more.
Tina tried to sing “My Funny Valentine” to Mike Chang, but she broke down in tears because she loves Mike so much. Oh Tina... So awkward. Artie butchered “P.Y.T. (Pretty Young Thing)” while Mike frolicked around his wheelchair. While at a diva sleepover (which included Kurt) Mercedes told Rachel that all of the great divas were single when they achieved fame, and that they poured their loneliness into song and it made them greater. Can we have more of these three interacting? Pretty please? So Rachel finally stopped chasing Finn, because she decided that her pining was distracting her from her real goals. But just as she started to move on, Finn hinted that he still had feelings for her. Rachel walked out the door and broke into Katy Perry’s “Firework,” which wasn’t better than the original version like we expected it would be. The episode ended with most of the gang at Breadsticks watching Kurt’s first annual Lonely Hearts concert where the Warblers sang “Silly Love Songs.” Santana and Sam smiled at each other. That’s on. Oh! Also, Mercedes wears a onesie as pajamas. Ern wears a onesie! She is wearing it right now, as she edits the final draft of this post!!! DIVA WEAR, hells yeah.
Episode grade: A-
Much better than the Super Bowl episode, especially the songs.