America's Next Top Model 4/27/11

We've gotten more hits from the search "America’s Next Top Model, Alexandria" than just about anything for the last month, so we get the message. Our readers want an ANTM post. You're right, it's been too long.

Goodbye to Kasia. Not that it was a surprise. We have complained before that this show gives away who they are going to kick off by showing them bragging about their talents in their talking heads. The winner of this show is almost never seen boasting in a talking head. This means that we can rule out Alexandria as a winner. But we are still rooting for her, because this show needs an upset FOR ONCE.

We suspect that the show asks the girls questions to get them talking in their interviews. They want to paint the winner as likeable so the audience will accept the winner. They probably asked Kasia a simple question like, “What are your strengths? What are the things that would make you beat the other girls, if you did.” They all answer. If they are to be America’s Next Top Model, their answers are stored in Tyra’s vault. If they are not, the viewers get to see these responses before the girls are sent home.

They are also pumping forgettable Hannah. We are envisioning a Brittani or Hannah win. Because of Alexandria’s popularity and drama potential, she will be in the top three and maybe even the top two. This show never picks the bitchy girl. If Alexandria actually won, it would be a shock, and we would like the show more.

We are forgetting someone. Oh, Molly. Molly, Molly, Molly. So pretty and a decent model. But she has such a bad attitude, and she has had it from day one. She says it’s because she’s adopted. We don’t really mind her. Usually when she complains, we agree with her. But you can’t win the show with a ‘tude like that.

The girls’ house in Morocco is gorgeous. Who cares if you have to share a bed? Seriously, that just became our dream house. The photo shoot involves the girls in the desert, original for Morocco, on camels, in fabulous Aladdin-style clothing. Molly got best photo, but Brittani also did well. Hannah does alright. Alexandria and Kasia stink up the joint. Alexandria didn’t click with the photographer, so she got accused of directing the photo shoot. Um, she was directing herself. Not fair this time, but the judges fear the trend of Alexandria coming across badly on set.

Some woman from Vogue sits on the judging panel. Yeah, we don’t care enough to look her name up. We don’t care enough about fashion that we will never be able to afford unless we are a) really rich one day and b) greedy, vain douchebags. We watch this show for the hilarity. Although we never say no to the cute stuff they sell at Target. Can we get an Amen? Like we said in the beginning, Kasia goes home.

Episode Grade: A-

Also, if you want to see America's Next Top Model pictures from the photo shoots of this year and years past, we like to go here. It looks like they posted some of the photos from next week, so tread carefully if you don't want spoilers. Or try to pick the girl going home from the pictures. We think Alexandria has the best market photo. Is it Hannah or Brittani's time to go?