Necromancers are just what this show needs. For three years, vampires have been the biggest kids on the True Blood playground, but the new Petunia Dursley witch has the means to make mincemeat out of the bloodsuckers. We give the whole witch thing an “A”. Here, we are going to look at where the main characters have been this season and during the last episode.
Jason: Crystal is the freaking worst, so we are glad that he is off of that and back to bonding with his best friend and his sister. In this episode and the last one, it looks like he is developing a crush on Jessica, which could complicate things with Hoyt. His storyline was disgusting at first (what with all the raping), but the way he acting during it showed that he is a decent, normal guy who we can root for, unlike in the first couple of seasons. We are glad he’s not going to be a wereleopard. We need the humans on this show to stay human, for now. Plotline Grade: C+ (We weren’t really digging all the raping, and we don’t want him to steal his best friend’s girl, even if their relationship is really bad right now, because she erased Hoyt’s memory of her cheating.)
Sookie: We aren’t fully onboard with her sudden love of Eric. So she likes him when he is little more than a sweet child? Does she like submissive, immature men? Meh. Maybe she does. And really, we will take any plotline from her as long as it gets her sleeping with Eric, FINALLY. We hooted and hollered at the TV screen when they got it on. We guess that Sookie couldn’t let go of Eric’s selfish past easily, and it took a clean slate to get her to come around to him. We think it’s going to be interesting when Eric gets his memory back and has to reconcile who he has been for hundreds of years with who he has been these last few weeks with Sookie. Maybe he can find a happy medium? Plotline Grade: A (because they finally did it)
Eric: Has had his memory taken by Petunia Dursley witch, and he is so adorable it hurts to watch him interact. On reset, he also has a newfound integrity, sense of honor, and a willingness to take responsibility for his actions. Plotline Grade: A-
Alcide: His is an interesting plot, so far. He’s with his ex, Debbie, again and resisted joining the local pack. But this week, he’s willing to give the pack a try. We love werewolf hierarchy. It’s so dangerous, and it sounds like a great way to get rid of Debbie so that Sookie can sleep with Alcide too. Plotline Grade: B+
Bill: Is so much more useful as King. Even with all the incest, he’s way less annoying now that Sookie is no longer his. He’s been pretty hardcore lately, but he showed his soft side letting Eric go back to Sookie this week, rather than just killing him when he had the opportunity and permission. Plotline Grade: B
Lafayette and Jesus: Are at Jesus’ creepy grandpa’s house in Mexico trying to get some witch info. We don’t really get this yet, but it’s weird and it looks promising, so we like it. Plotline Grade: A- (especially considering most of Lafayette’s previous lame plotlines)
Tara: Her lesbian girlfriend showed up in Bon Temps, they made up, and Tara has stayed relatively sane. But will her girlfriend survive Pam’s attack? Plotline grade: C+. Plotline grade comparing this plotline to Tara’s other plotlines: B+
Pam: Is rotting and hilarious. Plotline Grade: A
Arlene and Terry: Have a pet armadillo?!! We like them a lot more now. They are still being haunted by the ghost of Rene (presumably) and have an evil freaking baby. Their house burned down this week. Plotline grade: C
Andy: Is addicted to V. Plotline grade: C- But he is also interested in Holly and has secured himself a date! Plotline Grade: B-
Sam and Tommy: Tommy is a horrible person. He accidentally killed his mom and her husband, so now he can impersonate people in his family. He started by impersonating Sam and sleeping with Sam’s current love interest, (Luna, another shapeshifter), and then yelled at her to get out when he was done. He also fired Sookie from Merlotte’s. And then he vomited on Sam’s carpet and passed out, looking like himself again. Sam’s pretty much been dealing with this. Plotline Grade: C
Due to quality and reader response (ok, one reader, but that's enough sometimes), we will be talking about this show more during the second half of the season.