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Wednesday, December 7, 2011

Glee - Hold Onto Sixteen

In this picture, Artie should totally be saying "TIMMY."

Quinn is cured! By Rachel, of all people. Yes, it was “redeem Rachel week,” which we are all for. But let’s back up. At the beginning of the episode, Quinn went up to Rachel and told her that Shelby and Puck had a root fest. Rachel agreed that Shelby was wrong for doing that, but she countered that Puck was 18 and that Beth loves her mom. If Shelby gets deemed an unfit parent, it will “ruin Beth’s life.” Sweet little point there, Rachel. Quinn seems to listen, but she is resolved to get Beth back and probably get revenge on Shelby for doling out all those harsh truths about life and then acting with no wisdom in her own decisions.

McKinley High is hosting Sectionals this year, but New Directions is still nervous, despite the whole thing happening on their own turf. That’s a decent psychological advantage. Having lost their star, Rachel, the club feels that it needs Sam Evans back. Rachel and Finn go to Kentucky to retrieve him, because his new town actually isn’t that far away from Lima. Sam is working as a male stripper for all the middle-aged ladies who hang at a place called “Stallions.” These are probably the same people who are The Twilight Moms. We weren’t aware that Sam was 18. Although, that’s Kentucky, armpit of America, so they probably don’t care one way or another. Heh. If you’re from Kentucky and you’re offended by that, go get that cousin you married to comfort you. We’ll wait.

Rachel gave Sam a dollar that she got from Finn (way to perpetuate the “Jews are cheap” stereotype, Rachel), and Sam meets them in his dressing room. He says that he made $60 in 15 minutes, which is a lot more than he can make for his family at Dairy Queen. The three then went to Sam’s parents’ VERY NICE, BIG house and talked them into letting Sam go back to Ohio and live with them. Sam’s parents realize that this is what Sam really wants and they let him go. One less mouth to feed? How will they get by without the Stallions income when they clearly spend everything they get on a big house anyway? Oh whatever. These are the times Glee never makes any sense, and we are happy enough to have Sam back, that we will excuse a lot.

Meanwhile, Kurt and Blaine go to their gay little coffee shop and Sebastian shows up to hit on Blaine again. When Blaine leaves their immediate vicinity, Sebastian and Kurt have a little fight where Sebastian makes it clear that he thinks Kurt is unattractive and that he, Sebastian, is after Blaine. As if that wasn’t clear before. It totally was. Kurt counters with, “You smell like Craigslist.” Kurt FTW. Everyone meets back at the rehearsal room and sings Toby Keith’s “Red Solo Cup” with Sam. That was a weird song. It sounded like it came from Kentucky. We’ve decided that it was so bad it was good.

After rehearsal, Quinn met up with Sam and said that she didn’t appreciate him before, and that she wants him back. Yeah, that’s very attractive to a guy, Quinn. Sam is over it. He tells Quinn to enjoy her youth, which came out of nowhere for us, but we quickly got used to it, because that turned out to be the episode’s major theme. Mike Chang and his dad are back! We thought that storyline was a one-time thing, but it keeps coming back. Mike caved and only applied to Stanford for pre-med. Tina is concerned that Mike is giving up his dreams and voices this concern. Mike is really mean back.

Kids reading this: we would like you to know that your parents don’t have to know your major until you graduate and it’s too late. You can minor or double major too. Your parents don’t have access to your grades and generally are NOT THERE to see you doing whatever the hell you want. That’s the beauty of college. Take advantage of it. It’s your life, and college is when you get to do whatever you want. Also, colleges don’t have “pre-law” or “pre-med” majors. Major in whatever you want, get good grades, blow the standardized tests out of the water, and then apply to the graduate school you need to go to.

Sam’s plan to win Sectionals involves swiveling pelvises and air-sexing. Blaine really hates this. We mean really hates it. He goes into a rage and says that he’s “not for sale” and basically calls Sam a gigolo. The two nearly fight, but Finn breaks it up. Blaine is in the gym, punching a bag. He would have looked sexy, but he still has his head all lubed up. Finn tracks Blaine down and Blaine explains that he took up boxing after being bullied at his old school. Then he says, “I started a fight club at Dalton, which, obviously, I can’t talk about.” We loved that line, because we love Fight Club more than most things in life. Finn fixes things by admitting to Blaine that he’s been jealous of Blaine, and that now he just wants to win or something.

Sam finds Mercedes and tells her that he’s coming after her, no matter how big her boyfriend is. Mercedes is clearly charmed. Tina visits Mike’s dad with a video of his son in West Side Story, and she tries to make the dad see reason. Way to overstep, girlfriend who is not part of the family. She ends her plea with, “You know, you’re always talking about honor, Mr. Chang. Help your son honor his gift.” Honor? Who is this? The dad from Mulan? Speaking of which: when are they going to perform "I'll Make a Man Out of You"?

At Sectionals, the Unitards perform first. Sadly, they do not wear Unitards, so we have no idea why they are called The Unitards. That group features Lindsay Pearce and she sang “Buenos Aires” from Evita. She sounds fantastic. It’s a perfect song for her voice, even though it’s not a winning number. The Troubletones are next, with a mash-up of “Survivor” by Destiny’s Child and “I Will Survive.” They do weird arm movements that must count as a dance. New Directions go for Michael Jackson, Janet Jackson, and the Jackson 5, singing “ABC”, “Control”, and “Man in the Mirror.” Those were ok, but not at all winning material, we thought. Mike Chang’s dad shows up to see his son perform.

New Directions win, even though we think they should have gotten third. Mike Chang’s dad caves and tells Mike to do what he wants. Rachel comes back to school. Quinn tells Shelby that she knows about the nasty Puck affair. Shelby complains about being old. Quinn is supposed to cherish her youth and not crave her baby, or something. Rachel tells Quinn that if Quinn rats Shelby out, Quinn will regret it forever. Quinn listens and becomes a nice human again. Quinn gets Rachel and Mr. Schue to agree to let the Troubletones sing one solo number per competition, so the two groups merge again.

They sing “We are Young,” which was sweet enough that we downloaded it. We actually liked all the unity and Quinn/Rachel being friends. The episode had a nice season-one tone. This was definitely a good one. We are glad that the crazy Quinn and Troubletones plotlines are over. This episode loses points for the three lame New Directions songs and "Red Solo Cup". It was relieving to see everyone acting like normal humans and not making insane, mean decisions. We like when the good guys on this show occasionally act like good guys.

Episode grade: B+


  1. They need to make Lindsay a regular. She has such a damn good voice and is capable of acting.
    It's funny how in the Glee Project they said "You need to be like someone we can write for" or w/e but they haven't really written much for Damian.

  2. Even what they wrote for Damian sucks. We think they were really attached to having Cameron, but he dropped out of the show.

    They really should have picked Hannah. Lindsay is so much less autotuned than anyone else on Glee.

  3. Why do New Directions always get to make three songs while the rest only get one? I liked the songs, though, especially Man in the mirror. Finally something that I can sing along to and is not Katy Perry.

  4. Maybe if someone else sang them. Too much Finn and Artie. Better than Katy Perry though.

  5. Glee used to be a show I used to look most forward to. Now...I pretty much look forward to new shows. It's gotten boring to me. I still want to watch it though...but I watch it without carrying about any of the characters. Damn season 2 and it's problems!

  6. I liked this episode. I agree with everything you guys said. And I loved "We Are Young" and I've been listening to it on repeat ever since I saw the episode, lol. Lea Michele needs to make an album ASAP!

  7. Leeard is with you. She looks forward to New Girl most on Tuesday nights and has quit caring about Glee.

    We're afraid that if Lea Michele makes an album, she will try to make it pop/Britney Spears-y, rather than anything that really shows off her voice.

  8. Hmm, maybe but I don't care I think I'll still love it :)

  9. Yeah, we'd buy a copy even if it were rap.

    Perish the thought though.

  10. PLEASE recap americas next top model -- I know you must have been shocked to see who won!!! I'd love your opinion on it.

  11. We don't know if we can do a full recap, because today is crazy, but we will definitely say what we thought/spare a few paragraphs.

  12. I really loved the episode. I agreed with everything you said.

    This is the second time that the song they sing after winning it's actually better that the siong they sing in competition (2nd season "Dog Days Are Over" was better to me than "Time Of Our Lives"). Really loved the We Are Young cover, this is one of the reasons I love Glee, they introduce me music I didn't know, now I know the band fun. and I tottaly love them, I'm buying his album Aim and Ignite and waiting for the new one.

    Mr. Schue laughing at the end of the episode was disturbing.

    I love see the "Gerber Baby" again, ahd what she said to Kurt was like a preview that she will be on 4th season and tha could be a b*tch and I'd love seeing Lindsay as a b*tch.

    For me should be Trouble tones 1rst place, Unitards 2nd and New Directions 3rd. Not that I love Troubletones but New Directions was boring for me.

    Keep waiting for Damian, I read spoilers that say that in the next episode he we will be kinda important. SPOILERS
    *Rory experiences a bout of homesickness for his native Ireland.

    *Rory has a storyline throughout the whole episode that will resonate with many kids and teens.

    *Rory 'grows up' in this episode.

    *Rory will dress up as Itch the Christmas Elf. Source

    *At the end of the this episode there is a little hint that he might have a girlfriend on Valentine's day.

    By the way I don't think that he will be only on seven episodes because according to Marc Malkin (from E-Online), Rory will not be leaving anytime soon. He will still be on the show but its unknown for how long.

    Good episode. Did you feel the first season vibe when they were singing "We Are Young"?

  13. Agree. Their "celebration songs" after competitions have been better for a while. They are just joyful and fun.

    Mr. Schue is disturbing, haha. We hope Lindsay has another appearance. She was only promised two.

    We did feel the vibe. And thanks for the Rory info!

  14. You're welcome a yup, Schue is very disturbing xD

    Lindsay may be back in the NYADA thing, maybe she has to face Rachel in a casting or something like that. The only one I know that we'll see soon is Samuel (aghh), he will be on the 10 or 11 episode and apparently he will be the Puck's cousin. I just don't care about him. Hanna should be on the show. Love Hanna.

    Gonna miss your blog on you hiatus week, I might not comment on all the post but I always read you. :D

  15. Ohh and I wanted to say that the youth thing was a very good theme, at least for me. I turned 18 the last June and if I could I would back to my 15's and 16'. Sometimes I look back and I feel that I lived those years so fast.

  16. YES. Bring Hanna.

    Also, I wouldn't sweat the 15s/16s thing. 18-22 was more fun for us.

  17. Heh. I also look forward to New Girl more then Glee. Love that show...the ratings have been going down though. (The same for Raising Hope) :(

  18. We're pretty sure New Girl is safe. Those are both funny shows.

  19. Ok here's the thing... the New Directions sucked hardcore. I was totally jammin out to Survivor/I Will Survive mashup. I mean, I love Beyonce so Mercedes and Santana singing Beyonce is wild. Anything from Evita is pretty fantastic. (Sidenote: I loved that Kurt and Rachel were mouthing the words along with the Unitards.) The New Directions picked the worst songs for them. I was mostly bored. They should've gotten 10th out of 3rd.

    "Red Solo Cup" is just plain bad, and Glee singing it did not make it any better. What's next? A beer pong song? Just because it's fun doesn't me we need to sing about it.

    While the Quinn storyline has been awkward and unpleasant, I kind of like it. It's one of the more realistic things they're doing this year. People think that when a girl has a baby and gives it up, she can just go back to normal. Like she had her appendix removed. "Oh that was painful, but we're so glad you're back and healed." The post-pregnancy hormones alone are enough to kick her in the teeth, but the rest of it... Quinn needed to be angry. She needed to be irrational and ridiculous and awkward and unreasonable. I'm glad that Rachel and her are "sorta friends."

    It wasn't painful like the last episode, but I'm just annoyed with almost everyone in New Directions. Rachel needs to sing something awesome ASAP if I'm going to get out of my funk with this show, and no, the Christmas episode is not going to do it for me. Guess I'll have to wait until after the holidays.

  20. Red Solo Cup was at least more fun than Rebecca Black's Friday.

    Rachel's powerhouse moment will come this season. It just has to, because it's her last season. Nationals?

    Agree about Quinn. Agree about New Directions, although we like that they tried to do older songs. But ABC is overdone/

  21. Ok, so I just found out today about your blog, and I have to say, it has been the greatest 2 hours I've spent at work lol.... I'm really not into commenting as I usually go back and forth between work and procrastination.. well that being said, I really enjoyed your reviews (yep I read them all) but this one, I actually laugh out loud at the Mulan reference! GREAT! jajajajajaja

    I have big issues with Glee, I remember I watched the Pilot loved it... the next two episodes, hated them, and then finally I enjoyed it... Then Season 2 and all the Kurt drama-issues, top 40 songs and the guest stars parade....

    And now Season 3 is like meh... Now it's Blaine taking all the spotlight and I really really felt disgusted by the Spanish Teacher episode (I'm guatemalan btw) it's not justified to have 45 min or so of making fun to have one or two lines telling us that that is wrong.. it's just not right, and seriously that's done a lot in Glee, gay rights, religion, etc...

    The reason I'm still watching Glee is because I enjoyed most of the musical numbers, and the performances are usually good...

    I just realized I wrote a lot, but I really enjoyed your reviews and I've already bookmarked this blog to keep on ejoying them!

    Keep all the good work


    1. Thanks! It's always nice to have something to do at work, haha. We love long comments and totally agree with everything you wrote about Glee.