What happened - There was almost no consequence for Jon Snow after following Craster into the woods. Craster just told them all that they had to leave. Lord Commander Mormont already knew that Craster sacrifices his sons to the eerie residents of the far north. Samwell gives a keepsake of his mother’s to Gilly, telling her to hold onto it for him until he comes back. Tyrion uses a scheme to find out who is leaking information to his sister. It turns out that Maester Pycelle is the spy, so Tyrion arrests him. Varys gets Shae (Tyrion’s hooker) the position of Sansa’s handmaiden. Bran thinks that he is having magic dreams where he can go inside the heads of direwolves. He is told that there is no more magic and his dreams are just dreams.
Theon Greyjoy sides with his father and doesn’t warn Robb Stark that the Greyjoys are about to attack the North from the sea. We see Renly Baratheon and his new bride, Margaery Tyrell, who was part of a deal to get Renly the support of the Tyrell family. Renly watches a large woman named Brienne win a duel and gives her a place on his Kingsguard. Catelyn meets with Renly and he promises that he will get Joffrey’s head for Catelyn. We are reminded that Renly is secretly gay, but his new wife is alright with it as long as he is able to impregnate her. She offers to have her brother join them in bed to get Renly started. Yoren is killed when the Night’s Watch recruits are attacked by Joffrey’s men. The recruits are captured. One of the recruits is killed and Arya tells the attackers that the recruit was Gendry. She did this in order to protect the real Gendry.
Our Comments - Samwell giving the thimble to Gilly is only cute if he actually does come back. We thought it was hilarious when Renly’s wife was completely understanding of his homosexuality. She should win the Most Accommodating Wife award. She tested her theory with her boobs first, naturally. In the books, it is only hinted that Renly is gay. When there is potential for a gay love scene, HBO is going to take it. This is subtext no more.
We were happy to finally see Brienne the Beauty because she is awesome. How perfectly cast was she? She was large and masculine without being really ugly. We liked Yara’s reasoning for fooling Theon last week. She wanted to see what sort of man he was. If she had been revealed as Theon’s sister, he would have been respectful. But Theon showed himself to be crass toward people he considers beneath him.
Theon does get one ship from his father. It’s called “The Sea Bitch,” which is obviously the best boat name ever. We loved Tyrion this week, but we aren’t getting what he sees in Shae. She’s starting to bug us. Hopefully the show uses her new position as a way to give Sansa more to do. Sansa is so cool looking. Shae was not Sansa’s handmaiden in the books, but we are digging the change so far. Sansa needs a crafty, worldly ally.
We liked Tommen this week. Prince Tommen is Cersei’s youngest son, also a product of incest (note: aren't all of them?). He said he wouldn’t like it if Sansa’s brother were killed. That is nice and shows that he is not as much of a brat as Joffrey. Who is? Seriously, who? Can you think of another kid in entertainment who so deserves to be slapped in every scene? We are sad to lose Yoren, but it’s not a surprise. We are shipping Arya and Gendry harder than ever. Since she protected Gendry, we’re sure he will try to keep the soldiers thinking she’s a boy.
We liked this episode better than last week’s, but not as much as the premiere. We didn’t get to see Danaerys, Robb, or Jaime this week.
Episode grade: B