Poor, awesome Jane Lynch has to be on this farce this week. At least it’s better than actually being on stupid Glee. She is one of the only mentors we’d actually want some one-on-one time with. She seems wise, down-to-earth, sweet, and experienced in show business and hard work. Naturally, after they got rid of all the black people, it’s time to rap! Ali did a shameless Nicki Minaj rip off. They had good energy and the singing sounded good, so this was way less painful than we had anticipated. Some of the guys really sucked at rapping though. We love that Lily beat Aylin. We love that Lily actually IS a bad ass for not whining about having to wear a swimsuit. Nellie, get some therapy. You’re gorgeous and talented.
Does anyone else think Nikki Ander is kind of a power-drunk bitch? Her facial expressions when the kids aren’t singing well are classic though, and we like how she’s honest. Aylin’s reaction to feeling slushie for the first time was funny, but no one liked it. We feel her on the goofing off when things get hard/uncomfortable. In karate, one of us used to try to make jokes while fighting people. Not recommended. You will get punched in the face mid-cackle. OH YEAH, show, throw slushies at the girl who can’t flippin’ walk! She can swim?!! That’s a surprise worthy of the applause she got. There’s no way Ali is going home this week. Darn. Lily sounded the best in the video and seemed like she was having a ton of fun. No way she’s going home either. We couldn’t take our eyes off her.
As usual, the judges picked a bottom three to sing for Ryan Murphy. We’re not feeling Abraham. He’s been boring lately, but he’s safe. We wanted Nellie in the bottom three again so that we could hear another incredible last-chance performance, but we didn’t want her to go home. Charlie is a huge mess and consistently impossible to work with. We felt for him the first time, but this is like the fifth. His persona last week was gag-worthy. Aylin was in the bottom three, and we are both pretty over her, so that’s fine. We like her positivity though. They made the right choices with the bottom three, but we were annoyed at this point that Nellie might get cut for not being Glee enough. LIKE WHEN THEY TOOK DANI.
Poor Aylin had to sing "Take a Bow", a song that was owned by Lea Michele in season one of Glee. The comparisons were inevitable, and Aylin didn’t come across well in light of them, even though the performance was on-key, well-belted, and okay. Ryan is like DON’T LAUGH AT THE SLUSHIE. Slushies are a serious bullying matter on the show! We realized then that Ryan is keeping Aylin. Because she is new and a game changer, because she is a Muslim. She’s a new ornament on Ryan’s multicultural, Very Special Christian tree. Ugh. Charlie was next. Charlie WAS determined to go out fighting. He sounded great, but he went for his crazy antics again which is why he is in the bottom three. We really didn’t know he could sing before.
Ryan complained that Charlie stands out too much, which is never his complaint. You have to stand out, yet be the same as the rest of the group (are you listening, Nellie?) Nellie’s insecurities don’t show in her awesome singing. For a show about high school, nerds, and bullying, you would think an insecure vibe would be welcome, but Ryan is concerned that she’s “not the show.” Zach’s face while she was singing…he was totally tearing up. Ryan’s was like Simon Cowell’s listening to Susan Boyle. Come on, guys! Thank GOD Charlie was sent home. He deserved to go home for his past behavior and multiple chances, not his performance. We liked his voice. Of course, Aylin and Charlie had to end their relationship of convenience/boredom/horniness with a kiss. Bleck.
Episode grade: B