True Blood - Let’s Boot and Rally

Oh, that first scene, God love it. Nobody was expecting Sookie’s first sexual encounter with Alcide to involve vomit. It was his own fault for saying something as weak as, “I’ve waited so long for this.” We were like, “Um, yeah, us too, and you two are ruining it by being drunk.” Of course Eric would interrupt it with a one-liner and some trespassing. We liked this scene due to the pure unpredictability and hilarity. Like we said last week, we already had super romantic and gushy with both Bill and Eric (and Eric and Eric and Eric. They boned for like a zillion episodes). Alcide is just a fun bang for Sook. Sookie’s reaction to her situation (“Must be Thursday! Onwards into the jaws of death! Boot and rally”) was funny. We are starting to like Sookie this season. She’s losing it, and it’s about time she had the good lines.

Lafayette decides to call on God, and he does so while looking at a bunch of idols/porcelain figures and waiving sage around. Yeah, the Old Testament Christian God is all about statues. Hilariously, Lafayette says, “I’m good enough. Better than most. So cut me a break.” Um, a former prostitute and druggie is “better than most”? Doubtful. Even if he had a squeaky clean past, it’s doubtful. Lafayette means well and loves his family/friends, but doesn’t everyone? That’s the thing: Everyone thinks they are better than lots of other people. Everyone. But nobody is really better. Until you had the upbringing, past, and psychological material of the exact person you think you’re better than, you don’t know if you would actually make better choices. Why would True Blood show us Jesus’ head like that? It’s bad enough that we miss him. He was the only boyfriend of Lafayette’s we’ve ever liked. Not that he’s had many, but still.

Anyway, we got to see Jason’s parents in a creepy dream. They didn’t look like we’d imagined. They were less attractive. Arlene isn’t so awful this season. We still prefer the actress on The Good Wife. It’s been forever since we’ve seen Tara look attractive. We don’t like the way Rutina Wesley was playing New Vampire Tara in this episode, but we do like Pam getting to slam Tara down every time she has attitude. This is the best thing that could ever have happened to Tara. DOES EVERYONE ON THIS SHOW HAVE TO WHISPER when conversing seriously? No one whispers in real life. We’ve mentioned this before, because it’s one of our pet peeves, and this show is one of the biggest culprits. The Vampire Diaries is the only show that’s allowed to do that.

Holy Ifrit, Terry, no wonder you are traumatized and crazy from war. Obviously, he did the wrong thing, but that’s a tough situation with lots of pressure. There are so many storylines and characters on this show, and we only really care about a few. Right now, we are interested in seeing Sookie and Jessica, but that’s it. Sure, things change from time-to-time, but watching Jason and Andy frolic around being cops and talking about fairies is trying our patience. A storyline for Sam is really happening now, and while we hate him less than lots of people on this show, we’re not anxious for his conflicts with the pact/shifters to start taking up more time. The more time taken up for collateral matters, the less time we get to watch A-plot. This show is all B-plot. Glad to see Luna go though.

Jessica being sweet to Tara was adorable. We’re so glad Tara responded like a nice person. That made us like her for the duration of that scene. If Jessica can convince Tara to love life as a vampire, instead of just sulking, Jessica will be even more awesome than she already is. Then Hoyt shows up, looking ridiculous. We were really bummed when he and Jessica broke up, because they were so cute in their mindless puppy love. Even better than seeing Jessica and Tara almost turn into friends was seeing Jessica rip Tara off of Hoyt. Don’t toy with us, True Blood. We want that pairing back.

Episode grade: B-