Everyone was angry at Serena that morning, which is understandable, because they thought she had dropped out of Columbia via text after being mean to everyone. Is anyone else worried about Serena’s education? This poor girl is never going to finish college. Serena woke up after her involuntary bender and called 911 on herself. Juliet had almost killed Serena by overdose. (Ern’s annoying, almost-lawyer mind started running. Could she be charged with attempted murder?) Serena ended up at the Ostroff Center because people wondered if it was a suicide attempt. Serena had no memory of anything and couldn’t defend herself. She told Dan that all she remembered was going to the party intending to kiss him and only him. This led to a kiss, and we guess she and Dan are back on after all this time. They are stepsiblings, but we don’t mind. That’s just a label. They have already had sex anyway. Fluids exchanged/what’s done is done.
Vanessa’s revolting sense of style was back. Too bad, because the last couple of episodes have had her looking decent. Nate’s drama with his dad was lame, and we agree with Dan. He should have left their parents alone. You can’t fix someone else’s romantic relationship in real life. We like Nate’s dad with his short prison hair though.
Nice girl Jenny was back, and she acted like a mature and honest person, concerned for Serena and making us forget (a little) the horrible jerk she has been. When Jenny confronted Juliet, Juliet got more “evidence” against Serena. She took a picture of herself in Serena’s mask doing a line of cocaine and texted it to Gossip Girl. Wouldn’t Gossip Girl be suspicious of that photo that could be ANY blonde girl? But even Serena believed it and wondered if she had gotten crazy and forgotten about it. Now even Serena hates Serena. Poor Serena. Juliet got cowardly Vanessa to pin what Jenny knew all onto Jenny. We were surprised that Juliet’s brother had a problem with the drugging Serena plan. We are also surprised that Juliet took Lily’s money to keep quiet about Serena’s past. That’s an awful lot of serious crimes you are racking up, Juliet.
Chuck and Blair tried to play the scheming friends, chatting shallowly and amusingly away, and Chuck told Blair that it was too hard for him to play at being friends. Awww Chuck, you and your big heart. We get it though. After a breakup, people need time, or it’s just torture and they never get to let go of you. We’ve heard spoiler-y rumblings that Chuck will be getting a new love interest. CURSES. A) Chuck should only be with Blair and B) Isn’t it Blair’s turn to have a love interest who isn’t Chuck? Her last serious one was that dopey guy in the beginning of season two who was like a duke or an earl or something. Whatever.
This episode had a lot of whining and worrying about Serena, and it wasn’t as eventful as we had hoped. It was pretty talky. But it ended well. Jenny told Blair everything she knew about Juliet’s plan to take down Serena. Jenny is hated by many, but we like her, because she is believable b*tchy and compassionate depending on the situation and people involved. She always makes the show exciting. Blair, in turn, called Dan and recruited him as a partner in her newest revenge plan. We know that Dan is at his best when he and Blair team up for cattiness. One day, those two need to hook up, roll over and look at each other, groan, vomit, and then never do it again.
Episode grade: B