Gossip Girl - Damien Darko recap/review

Blair Waldorf started an internship at W magazine, thinking she was the only one with the job. The best of the best. Yet there were a bunch of other girls there too….and Dan Humphrey. Dan was impressing everyone, being a straight, good-looking, and smart guy working at a fashion magazine. Rather than share the internship like normal people, Dan and Blair made a deal that each of them would bring a writer to the magazine’s next big party. The writer who was chosen to write in the magazine would decide who would quit W magazine and who would stay. Dan and Blair’s deal included a “no sabotage” provision, but Dan sabotaged Blair anyway.

Blair stuck by the deal, because she and Dan have been hanging out and she thought that they were sort of friends. At the party, they started pushing and pulling each other, and this ended with them wrestling on the dance floor. They were both fired. Dan called W magazine and told them that he tried to sabotage Blair and that it was all his fault. He lied a little to cover Blair’s tail too. Blair got her job back and proclaimed to her supervisor that she and Dan had never been friends. All of this was the highlight of the episode. Dan is a lot more fun when Blair is picking at him. Plus, we got to find out that Blair’s kindergarten yearbook quote was, “The best defense is a good offense.” But the best line of the episode was when Dan claimed he couldn't be distracted, and Blair answered, "Oh look! Georgina's baby!" before snatching something from him.

Chuck found out that Daddy Thorpe hired The Captain (Mr. Archibald). Chuck was ticked, because both Nate and The Captain are living with him. Chuck asked Raina for a personal favor: to fire The Captain. Raina didn’t appreciate the games and ended her relationship with Chuck. Chuck got her back though, and The Captain moved out. Chuck Bass is boring us. Without his smoking hot relationship with Blair, he's just a pathetic troll face played by a man who thinks that whispering every line is good acting.

Eric is in deep water. He was dumped by his boyfriend and has been getting pills (including Adderall and sleeping aids) and maybe more from Damien Dalgaard, that guy who sold Juliet the drugs to poison Serena. Serena found out about Eric hanging out with Damien and was concerned, but she was more concerned with ex-convict and new crush, Ben. She sort of ditched the Eric situation to try to help Ben. Ben was living in a halfway house full of convicts. Lily tried to pay him $30,000 to leave town, but Ben sent it back with a note – “Keep your blood money, and I will stay away from you for free.” Eric had the second-best line of the episode: "Mom paid someone off again? We should make this a drinking game."

Ben told Serena that he wasn’t interested in a relationship with her…before or now. As a favor to Serena, Rufus gave Ben a key to the loft so that he could live there. Ben went after Damien and told him to stay away from Eric. Damien marveled at the fact that Ben actually does have feelings for Serena, a fact that Damien was able to read from Ben’s face. Genius Damien. Evil genius. Damien ended the episode with a call to Eric, asking to hang out with him.

We find ourselves not caring about Eric. We never really did. We find ourselves thinking that Ben is not hot enough, Serena is pathetic, and Lily is a bit evil. Damien needs to get a lot more evil to be a proper Big Bad. Also, we don’t care much about Chuck possibly losing his empire to the Thorpes. Who cares about his dad’s legacy? His dad was a jerk to Chuck. Who cares about Chuck being rich? It would be better for Chuck’s character and personal life if he lost all of his money and had to get a job. If we care about Chuck, and we do, we actually want him to lose his identity based on his empire. At least there is no Vanessa anymore. We miss Jenny though.

The only thing we were watching carefully was Dan and Blair developing their budding friendship. How is it that Dan Humphrey is carrying this show right now?

Episode Grade: C+