Pretty Little Liars - Picture This review

Tonight, we had Leeard’s favorite summer show, Pretty Little Liars. The show got dissed in the New York Post a while ago as having no redeeming social qualities for young viewers. We disagree. Emily alone is a redeeming social factor, because she’s nice and might help young gay girls feel better about themselves. The show also promotes having as few secrets and lies as possible so that no one can hold them against you. Also, we’ve seen the girls stand up to Alison in flashbacks (Ali was afraid of Spencer because she was strong) and most of the girls have stood up to her memory, showing girls that they should put bullies in their place whenever they can. But one of us can see the paper’s point.

The opening of the episode didn’t do much to help its case though. It started with the worst sight we could ever see (on an abcfamily show, anyway). Aria in her bra making out with Ezra, in bed. We thought for a moment that the show decided to answer the “have they slept together” question with finality, but we quickly realized it was a dream when Ezra turned into Jason.

Just when the dream had gotten hotter, it ended. The other three were in the hospital, dressed as candy stripers again, looking for the missing morgue files page and suspecting Jason of murder. Then, Jenna showed up and indicated that she might be able to see soon (with a surgery, if she is a candidate). Would this make her more or less scary?

While Emily was throwing out everything A might have poisoned with HGH, there was a nice nod to Hanna’s past stealing amid all of her great one-liners. She and Caleb are a match made in sketchville. In the school halls, Emily and Aria talked about Aria’s crush on Jason while rocking the same, in-style hairstyle that we are a little sick of seeing (long waves that start at the chin and frame the face). Spencer’s waves have been a little different than that the past couple of episodes, and we approve. It turns out that Aria is only lusting after Jason because her relationship with Ezra still has obstacles. Bleck. We thought she had grown taste. After all, her outfit was saner than usual in that scene.

Hanna isn’t talking to her father or Isabel. Isabel wants Hanna to be a bridesmaid. We think it’s nice of Isabel to insist on this. Spencer spied on Jason and found out that he’s hiding something in his locked shed. These girls are no good at spotting red herrings. Aria pretty much jumped Ezra in his office, so it’s safe to assume that they rekindled their lust by going to whatever base they’ve gone to before, at least. After that, Aria had another naughty Jason dream. We guess that answers the question of how good Ezra is in bed? Though we're now pretty sure that Aria and Ezra haven't had sex, since dream Aria made a reference to it "finally" happening. Aria had a run-in with Jason the next day and threw him out of her house quickly, probably afraid he would notice her lady boner.

Samara is starting to bore us. We miss bad girl Maya. Samara brings Emily chocolate though, so Emily is probably going to keep her around for a while. Hanna’s mom offered E and S the house so that they could have their big, gay party. What do lesbians do when they have the house to themselves? Play cards and eat popcorn. Sorry male PLL viewers…. A then sent Emily a text saying “if Zoey leaves without your digits, your test results go viral,” meaning that everyone will find out about Emily’s human growth hormone-infested body if she didn’t ruin her relationship with Samara. Ugh, A is the worst.

Emily caved and gave Zoey her number. A girl with feathered earrings (Quinn) saw the transaction. We’re pretty sure she had to kill at least three birds to get those. Quinn told Samara, and it broke them up. Random rant: What kind of a name is Ezra anyway? We know lots of nice, normal names come from the Bible (including both of our real names), but that one is TOO Biblical. Why don’t we just start naming characters “Abednego”? Anyway, Ezra is an old man name. Back to the episode.

In parent news, Byron Montgomery decided to be awesome for a second when he told his wife that Mike’s actions are his own fault, not hers. He then went upstairs to pound on Mike’s door and talk to him. Mike was lying in bed, looking depressed (and feminine. We were like, “Who is that girl?”) What is wrong with him? Is A poisoning HIM now? That would probably be pretty awesome, actually. One of us really wants A to start interacting with the other characters.

Mike’s father stopped being awesome and just invited him down to dinner, rather than beating his ass. Then he warned Mike not to lock his door. Ok, obviously his girlfriend just broke up with him, he’s secretly gay, he’s A, or he just realized how much like a girl he would look with hair. We sort of wish he were in love with Aria or something. We need incest back on this show, and REAL incest this time. They have to give the New York Post something to talk about, right?

Hanna spotted the guy who was following Caleb giving Caleb his card and shaking his hand. Turns out, he’s a private investigator hired by Caleb’s mom to find him. Predictable. Caleb sulked about his mom who he hasn’t seen in 12 years. Hanna encouraged him to hear his mom out. He did it and they had a great conversation, even though they didn’t go into why she left him in the first place.

Caleb teared up recounting how his mom apologized for taking so long to find him and how she told him his voice sounded just like his father's. His mom invited him to California for a reunion. “When?” Hanna asked. “Tonight,” he said. Awwww, poor Hanna. And bye bye to another PLL guy….at least for a while. Will Hanna wait for him? We are sad to see him go, but at least he left for a good reason and on a sweet note, rather than because of A (OR IS IT?), a misunderstanding, or a mean breakup. Then Hanna called her dad. Predictable, but still sweet.

Spencer tried to get rid of her mom so that she could sneak off and snoop on Jason’s property. “You seem tense,” Mrs. Hastings said before she left the house. Umm, have you met your daughter? She’s always like that. Back to Byron Montgomery. He has decided that Mike is depressed like his brother was. We think his brother must have killed himself or something. We like when a teen show tackles depression, because lots of teens experience it. It's ALSO a socially redeeming quality, so suck it, New York Post.

Back to Spencer. She and Emily went into Jason’s shed. Inside were pictures of Aria’s body parts, close up, and creepy jars. It was Jason’s darkroom. It looked like he was using his surveillance equipment to spy on Aria while she was sleeping. TRUST ARIA TO FALL FOR THE ONLY GUY SKETCHIER THAN EZRA. This girl has a definite type. Jason noticed the break-in and went to buy a padlock for his shed. On his way home, he bumped into Aria and got out of his car to talk to her. The show cut to Garrett and Jenna spying on the two of them. This show is so freaking creepy.

Spencer and Emily tried to call Aria as she spoke to Jason, suspecting that she was knee-deep in creepers. Jason confessed that he cared about Aria and then kissed her. Aria shut him down in favor of Ezra. Spencer and Emily rushed back to Jason’s shed to get the pictures to show Aria. Stupid. They were all gone and only the flashlight they had dropped in there remained. As the show ended, we got our glimpse of A’s shenanigans. A was developing a picture of Emily and Spencer in Jason’s shed.

So, now we have two of our girls single in the span of one episode. That should open up lots of new plot opportunities while this show stalls its big reveals as long as it possibly can. But hey, we don’t want this show to be gone, so we aren’t complaining too much. One of us will not admit that Ezra is a better choice than Jason yet. There still might be an explanation!!!! One of us will go to the grave with the Ezra hate. Lots happened and the episode was entertaining, soooo.....

Episode grade: A