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Monday, September 12, 2011

True Blood Finale - And When I Die

Be careful what you wish for, True Blood fans. Last night, we got something we’ve all been wanting for a long time: a dead Tara. Of course, it was mixed with so many things we didn’t want that we didn’t get the enjoyment out of it that we anticipated.

Things we didn’t want: Sookie to pick NO ONE (dumb, and it’s all Gran’s fault), Sookie to be so brokenhearted and holding Tara’s body, Sookie shooting someone in the face (let’s face it, that character would have let Debbie live to terrorize another day), Jesus dead (nooooo), and the Marnie thing being anticlimactic and easily solved. The thing about Tara’s death was that it was just so freaking sad that it made us feel guilty for wishing for it.

How did Lafayette/Marnie even subdue Jesus after stabbing him in the hand with a fork? Jesus seemed pretty strong. And how did Lafayette/Marnie get Eric and Bill chained to a wooden post? You could say, “Magic, duh” but vampires are pretty strong and pretty fast. It seems like we should have gotten to see those fights.

It was also rude the way Sookie made both of her guys think that she was going to pick them, but then turned down both. We know it was for the benefit of messing with the viewer, but in reality, it would have been cruel of Sookie to draw it out like that. It pulled us out of the fiction.

We did like that the Marnie and witches stoylines are wrapped up going into season five. Marnie is such a whiner. It was cool to see Gran again, but was she always that scary? She’s totally misleading too. She told Sookie there was nothing to be afraid of regarding being alone. Ummm, what about growing old, being lonely, getting sick and having no one to take care of you, no one who has to have your back no matter what you do, and no sex with hot supernatural creatures? How could you not at least bone Alcide?

We liked the killing of Nan by Eric and Bill, because she had found out about Sookie’s fairy blood. We also approved of Pam’s hilarious lines about Sookie ("I am so over Sookie and her precious fairy vagina and her unbelievably stupid name!”) and Eric calling Nan’s henchmen “gay stormtroopers.” Nan’s death was one of the nastiest on this show, with all her sludge underneath her still slightly intact head.

The most interesting thing to us about this finale was the Terry/Rene/Marine friend thing. Ghost Rene showed up to warn Arlene that Terry is about to get crazy again. It sounds ominous and we don’t think he is lying. The boring? Jason telling Hoyt about his sex with Jessica, getting punched in the face, and then having sex and pillow talk with Jessica for most of the episode.

We’re pretty sure no one cares about Jason’s love life at this point. He is never going to pick the right girl. And Jessica really just needs to slut it up for a while. We did like the way Jason iced his eye with a popsicle. We’ve done that! What single person has an ice pack who doesn’t have chronic back problems or sports injuries? (Other than the other blogger, who thinks the original blogger is wrong).

We left Sam about to be attacked by a werewolf and Jason about to be attacked by that reverend fellow from season two, only the reverend is a vampire now. Lafayette is really sad over the stabbing of Jesus, and he also has Jesus’ demon face (that’s a weird sentence for a Christian to write, haha). We left Bill and Eric with a bounty placed on their heads by the Authority AND someone dug up Russell Edgington.

We know some baddies who are going to be back for season five and we’ve had a few crazy warnings about some of the drama to come. We feel bad that Terry is going to bring some darkness, because we’ve always loved him, and not just because he was on Gilmore Girls. But mostly because he was on Gilmore Girls.

This season was a huge step up from season three. The show got rid of a lot of dead weight and stupid plots, and it seems to be bringing back the things that can scare us. Sookie is single and ready to fall in love with all of her guys all over again (which is dumb but probably best for the show). We were entertained and amused, and we are looking forward to season five. And few people weren't surprised by the events of the finale.

Episode Grade: A-
Season Grade: B-

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