Spoiler warning. And enjoy our new favorite font, b*tches.
True love is the power that returns all that which is lost. ISN’T THAT JUST FREAKING BEAUTIFUL? No sarcasm. All we wanted from this finale was for Emma to find out and believe the truth. We got that in the first few minutes. Then this show went on to give us everything we ever could have asked for.
Magic is coming back to Storybrooke! Rumpy is finally the main villain! We actually thought Henry might be dead for like half a second! Snow and Charming are back together! A bad ass mom fights a dragon! Everyone remembers who they are! The Mad Hatter releases Belle and turns Gold against Regina! Belle and Rumpy reunite! August turned to wood completely! L Was there anything else the finale could have given us? No. Not really. We are totally and completely satisfied, as well as ready for season two to start.
We loved seeing Maleficent get her due. She got to be the big dragon we remember from Sleeping Beauty. The finale brought back most of the characters we actually like and put them at the forefront. We even got to see Graham again. We felt bad for Regina when she lost Henry like that. August’s fate remains unknown. When the curse was broken by Emma, did his wooden self change back? We will have to wait and see, but we think he did.
This is what we want from season two: MORE Rumpelstiltskin, August, Red Riding Hood, Abigail/Kathryn, Gretel, her dad, Grumpy, Belle, Mad Hatter, Dr. Whale, and Baelfire. LESS Jiminy Cricket, Cinderella, Blue Fairy (we hate her when she’s a nun too), Hansel, Sidney Glass/Magic Mirror (your role on Breaking Bad was way better, Giancarlo), and King George. All of those people can just freaking die for all we care. We’re pretty neutral on Snow and Charming. They serve a purpose. Without them, who would say, “You found me” and “I will find you” ten thousand times? We really wish Charming would stick with the name “David.” Leeard likes Henry; Ern hates him and wishes the show had the balls to kill him. In all fairness, while Leeard would've mourned Henry all summer, she would've respected the balls it would've taken to kill him off.
We still hate that Jennifer Morrison is the lead actress, but even she can’t ruin this fun, family friendly show. It will be something we get our kids into once they are old enough to appreciate it. It’s rare to have something on TV that parents and kids can both enjoy. We liked Emma’s line, “Well, it’s raining like a bitch. Where is it?” We didn’t like when she trusted Rumpelstiltskin with the egg. It’s RUMPELFREAKINGSTILTSKIN. Haven’t you heard the stories, woman? Don’t you have a supposed superpower that tells you when someone is lying/tricking you?
We hope for more Regina too, but we also hope that the show gets her motives clearer and more realistic next time. Her reasons for hating Snow were just lame and irrational. Did any other LOST fans notice that the clock stopped on 8:15? Until fall, then! And remember kids: Kiss your dead people. It’s worth a shot.
Season grade: B+
Finale grade: A