|Using legal pictures sucks, but I'm all antsy about copyright stuff. I know too much, haha. I'm about to draw my own pictures for this blog. They will be horrible, but they might be entertaining.|
First person then. Everyone knows this is Ern writing about this show. After this episode, I just kind of sat there for 30 seconds with my mouth hanging open. I can’t decide if that ending was horrifying or awesome. At the beginning of the episode, a little kid is riding a motorized bike. Is this a dirt bike? Sorry, I was a peasant growing up. My parents made me pedal. Anyway, it looks pretty cool and I want one. The little boy is cute. He stops to pick up a tarantula and put it in a jar. It’s neat how he’s not afraid of it at all.
Walt bugs Hank’s office, and Mike forces Lydia to report the bug to Hank so that they can see if the police planted the trackers. It turns out Mike was wrong about Lydia. The F.B.I. planted them. Lydia tells Jesse, Walt, and Mike that they can rob a freight train to get methylamine. Yes, I keep having to look that word up in order to spell it right. I got a D in chemistry in high school. More fun facts about Ern! No? Okay, back to the show. Mike says that in order to rob the train, they will have to kill the conductor and engineer onboard.
Mike makes it clear that there are two kinds of heists: Heists where the perps get away with it and heists with witnesses. Walt strongly considers killing the men, but Jesse won’t have it because Jesse is the best. Instead, Jesse comes up with this insanely brilliant idea to stop the train, drain the methylamine, and then replace it with water, using pre-prepared, buried tanks and hoses. That way, when the tank is weighed, no one would even know the train had been robbed. When the buyers find diluted methylamine (by only 4%, by the way), they will blame the supplier (China). It’s so smart, it’s scary. Jesse is a genius when he’s not on meth. He’s the MVP so far. Remember the magnets idea too?
They get Todd (Landry from Friday Night Lights) to help with the actual deed. Shockingly, they pull it off. No one sees them. The train stops because they planted another of their guys’ trucks in the middle of the tracks so that the train had to try to get that truck moving again. It’s a tense, long scene, and it’s great. The train starts moving just when they are finishing up. Jesse almost gets run over by the train. Todd has to jump. They all meet under the tracks as the train leaves. Walt laughs. Jesse says, “YEAH BITCH.” Because I’ve seen this show, I know that the episode can’t end this way, with the success. This show is too dark for that.
That’s when I remembered the kid from the cold open. Literally five seconds later we see him. He waves hi to the three thieves. Todd pulls out a gun. Jesse screams in protest. Todd shoots the kid in the head. Oh, Jesse is gonna KILL this guy. Even evil Walt looked shocked. In other news, Flynn is emo. No one cares. No one shoots him in the head. It should have been Flynn. Sklyer is a little more sane in this episode, and she and Walt have reached some sort of (probably temporary) deal where Skyler will keep doing Walt’s dirty work if he lets the kids stay with her sister. In order to drive home the point that this is a heist episode, the movie Heat is referenced. Now I want to go watch Heat.
Episode grade: A