For a show that takes itself so seriously, it should really stop with the episode titles in season three. Well, one of us just came from running around outside in the pouring rain and jumping in puddles (because that’s the only time running is fun/and oh yeah, I’m a freaking child), so that blogger is a little damp but ready to edit/write/add her two mocking cents. That blogger is team Aylin, but wants anyone but Ali. So, Blake or Aylin. The other blogger has always hated Aylin. It took so long for someone to put this episode online. It’s one of the hardest shows to find links for, so we are glad it’s over for now. The homework assignment is "You Can’t Stop the Beat" from Hairspray, and they butchered it almost as much as the real Glee kids did. At least they had more energy and it sounded more raw. All the eliminated contestants came back to sing backup. That means Charlie made a beeline for a very excited Aylin. Our ideal top three would have been Lily Mae, Shanna, and Dani, but this show sucks. It was nice to see them all again. Even that country western guy no one remembers. He’s cute though. The guest mentor is Chris Colfer and everyone is excited about that. It may come as a shock to you, but one of us really likes Chris Colfer. He seems like a decent, grounded human being.
Chris is pretty much the same person as Ryan Murphy, since he picked all three as the winners. Ryan is determined to not do that this year, oh no. He’s only picking one person. The final video is "Tonight Tonight" by Hot Chelle Rae, a song that has been annoying since the first time we heard it. The concept for the video is prom, a thing that has been annoying since the first time we heard of it. Aylin is playing a girl sneaking out for prom/hiding it from her parents. Blake is a humble, popular prom king (something Chris doesn’t think exists; neither do we. Hardly anyone is really, truly humble, and almost no one is in high school. Let alone the prom king). Ali is the flirty mean girl.
The judges worry that Aylin won’t be able to handle the backlash that will come from the Muslim character they will write for her. Um, there hasn’t been any backlash from her being on The Glee Project. Then again, she’s no Matt Stone and Trey Parker. Blake does a good job in the shoot. Ali looks forced, as usual. They bring Damien McGinty back to parade him in front of the finalists. He says boring things in his adorable accent. We are reminded of how poorly used he is on Glee. Maybe no one ever wins this show. They used Samuel pretty well though. The video is meh, as usual. We wish our proms had featured balloon drops and swings. WE LOVE SWINGS.
FINALLY, we get to the Last Chance Performances, which are the best thing about this show, for real. Several writers, stars from Glee, and the old contestants are watching them perform, as well as Ryan Murphy and the regular judges. Dianna looked great. We have a girl crush on her looks, Jenna Marbles-style. Ali sings "Popular" from Wicked, wisely playing into the writers’ idea that she play yet another mean girl on Glee. It makes us like her better to know that she is freaking brilliant and will do anything to win, even stop being a “ball of light.” It’s a good song for her thin, excruciating voice too.
Blake chooses to sing "I’ll Be" by Edwin McCain because the song is special to him. Ahhh, so he’s going to act really gay and sensitive so Ryan will fall in love with him. Psh, that will never wo- OH MAN. That totally worked. Ryan is smitten. To his credit, Blake is super hot and Ryan likes the peen. Blake ends things with a sensitive poem about himself that everyone eats up. We thought it was mostly lame with a side of cute. We liked his little dance moves during his song though. He’s a showman.
Aylin sings "Rolling in the Deep" because she realizes her strongest card in this game is her singing voice. And damn she sounds good. It’s hard to sing an Adele song and make it sound like you should be singing it, but Aylin pulls it off. She gets a standing ovation after killing it. But this isn’t a singing competition. It’s more like a beauty pageant where everyone does the same thing for their talent. Before Aylin sings, Abraham shouts, “WORK!” We guess he’s getting more comfortable with his androgyny.
The judges deliberate. Then Charlie makes this speech about why Aylin should win, and he sounds like he’s about to cry. Ryan comments on how emotional he is. Oh how we cringed during Charlie’s speech. He’s actually in love with Aylin. Poor fool. Ryan is like, “Everything you’re saying, I’ve already said. Stop copying me. I’m in love with Blake.” Aylin’s pros: She’s Muslim, she sang Adele. Ali’s pros: She’s actually in a wheelchair (unlike Artie who can get up and walk any time). Blake’s pros: He’s talented, good looking, and he has a good attitude. Also, remember guys, he can act the best. Blake actually wins. We are really surprised because he’s the least Super Special. We’re happy with the winner. The lesson on The Glee Project is that Super Special people will get attention and consideration early, but in the end, the likeable guy always wins on a reality TV show.