The fourth round of the Tubey Awards - Ern’s picks

Best Drama - The Good Wife

For me, it was down to Breaking Bad, Game of Thrones, Mad Men, The Good Wife, and The Vampire Diaries. Mad Men had its most entertaining season this year, but is Fun Megan really enough to make the show best drama? Eliminated. Game of Thrones is incredible and was so much fun this year, but it felt like a lot of middle. Plus, Jaime was sidelined for most of it. Eliminated. Breaking Bad had a good second half of the season, but the first half was incredibly slow. Eliminated. The Vampire Diaries couldn’t top season two. The beginning of the season and the season finale were unbelievably good and fast-moving, but the middle stopped the show cold. The Alaric stuff bored me a  little, and there was hardly any plot movement when Klaus was walking around Mystic Falls, whining and not killing anybody. Then there was the ridiculous tree stake plotline. TVD is better than that season middle. The Good Wife also had its most entertaining season this year, and it had all those fun guest stars and plot twists. So that’s my pick, and I’m really shocked. Last round, I picked Breaking Bad. I just love all these shows so much!

Best New Show - Once Upon a Time

Girls didn’t make it to the finals. Ugh. I quickly narrowed this down to American Horror Story, Homeland, New Girl, and Once Upon a Time. You may be wondering why I didn’t even consider Revenge though. Frankly, because the first half of every episode is painfully boring before things get rolling, and it’s such a soapy, frothy, shallow trifle that I would never pick it over the four shows above. Sure, I watch Revenge, but vengeance isn’t really an idea I find interesting. Nolan makes that show worth it for me. Oh yeah, and hot guys. Anyway, back to my choices. American Horror Story is not going to win because it was not at all scary. Ryan Murphy threw everything he could at the show and made everything stick. He built no suspense and his twists were predictable and contrived. Still, it was in my top four because it was so entertaining and easy to watch. Plus, Connie Britton. I feel like the other three shows are so different but equally good for what they are. So my test for this one was: “If a new episode of all three of these great shows was out right now, which one would I want to watch first?”

Most Ludicrous Plotline - Carl is allowed total freedom to wander around (The Walking Dead)

I loooove this category. So fun. How did “Sue’s Pregnancy from Glee” not make it to the finals?!! I will go through each choice.1) A musical masterpiece completely came together in just a few months after one unsuccessful workshop went straight to an out-of-town opening within the span of a few weeks. (Smash) - I’m not that bewildered by this. They were under pressure, in a hurry, and surrounded by talent. I do all my best work at the last minute. Why not these people? 2) All of Season 7 (Supernatural) - I’m only on season six, but I doubt I would ever pick this show for a negative quality. It’s just too fun. It was never supposed to be good. It’s a gory, adorable guilty pleasure for nerds. It’s not supposed to be believable. It’s called “Supernatural.” 3)-4) Blair picks Chuck/Blair decides to give a relationship with Brooklyn a try (Gossip Girl) - Blair picking Chuck is not at all ludicrous. They are meant for each other. The second one is more annoying than ludicrous. 5) Carl is allowed total freedom to wander around (The Walking Dead) - Yeah, his parents would never let him do that in real life. There be ZOMBIES about. 6) Finchel engagement (Glee) - Not ludicrous so much as just dull and stupid. Like most things on that show 7) Just a few days after being able to walk, Quinn can do choreographed dances at Nationals with no issue (Glee) - I know I can’t learn/do choreographed dances even with perfect legs (Leeard says they are my best feature), so I can see how this is a legit pick. 8) Rachel bombs her audition, but still gets into her dream school (Glee) - This is completely believable because LEA MICHELE SINGING. 9) Stefan can again become a love interest for Elena after slaughtering people as a "ripper" (The Vampire Diaires) - Look, until he becomes not hot, he can still be a love interest. Also, Damon has been killing people on purpose for years. Just because Stefan was more disgusting about it doesn’t make it worse, especially since Stefan didn’t do it on purpose. 10) Will Schuester suddenly doesn't know Spanish despite teaching it for years (Glee) - Totally believable. Will is a moron and our public schools are crap.

Best Reality Show Host or Judge - Zach Woodlee, The Glee Project.

We first had to narrow this down to the reality shows I watch. I usually hate them. That leaves the following. Adam Levine (The Voice) - He has a cuter personality than I would have thought possible by looking at him, because he looks like a total douche. Blake Shelton (The Voice) - I actually think he’s kind of a dick on this show. Cat Deeley (So You Think You Can Dance)- There’s Leeard’s pick. Zach Woodlee (The Glee Project) - Holy cuteness mixed with compassion for those whiners? Mmmhmmm.

Worst Reality Show Host or Judge - Randy Jackson, American Idol.

May I pick all of them? Reality TV is a blight on my favorite hobby. Christina Aguilera on The Voice gets an unfair shake. She came from an abusive household and spent her entire life in the spotlight. Of course she is going to be cold, un-vulnerable, and mildly bitchy. That’s why she is a) alive, and b) not insane. She had to build that wall. Sorry she’s not soft enough for you vultures. I almost want to pick Jennifer Lopez for how much she hated on Haley Reinhart for being sexy and AWESOME, but that was last year, so I will leave J-Lo alone. Nicole Scherzinger on The X Factor played dumber than she actually is, so she’s another tempting show. Ryan Murphy is genuine, entertaining, and no-bullshit on The Glee Project. I would never pick him for this. Tyra Banks? If by worst, you mean crazy, brilliant, arrogant, twisted, disgusting, shameless, gorgeous, and the most entertaining thing I’ve ever seen? Then yeah, she’s the worst. I’m giving it to The Dawg. He never says anything worthwhile and he needs to leave the show. Literally no one likes him.

Best Single Episode – Drama - “Face Off” (Breaking Bad)

This. Was. Painful. I considered a couple of these. Blackwater (Game of Thrones) - This is a show I love, and this is possibly my favorite episode of it. It was chock-full of Tyrion, one of the undoubted best characters, and THE BATTLE OMG with all the green fire and…I can’t even. It was fantastic, emotional, exciting, and perfect. But Breaking Bad’s “Face Off” made season four for me. The season built toward it. It ended with the perfect twist. I almost picked this for best drama, but really, the whole season was about this episode. It left me speechless.

Best Single Episode – Comedy - Remedial Chaos Theory (Community)

“Win Lose or Draw” from Parks and Recreation didn’t make it to the finals. Do people even WATCH that show?!! I cried in that episode 20 minutes before a law school exam. That’s how much that episode was able to pull me out of reality. I don’t even want to vote in this category now. I’m not voting for any The Big Bang Theory episode. I’ve tried so many times, but I don’t really like that show. It hates smart people/nerds and runs the same joke over and over. It’s better than most shows like it though. My Community pick is in one of the top 25 comedy episodes I’ve ever seen, period.

Most Unwelcome New Character - Rory (Glee)

I narrowed this down to Amanda Clarke the stripper (Revenge), Quinn (How I Met Your Mother), and Rory (Glee). I actually like Joe from Glee and Talisa from Game of Thrones. I feel like the only one! Rory was creepy and a total waste of time. His only redeeming quality is that he’s played by Damian, who is adorable and can sing like a young, Irish Sinatra. Only worse. Amanda the stripper is vile (but entertaining). Quinn is a distracting from important HIMYM endgames and her character is icky, but she’s played by one of my favorite TV actresses. Ughhhhhh. I’m going with Rory again. Just because, as a character, he has almost no redeeming qualities and makes the show even dumber.

Most Welcome New Character - Rebekah (The Vampire Diaries)

Because Bobby Newport opposed Leslie (who could?!!), Champion is a DOG, Coach Roz is a minor character, Constance doesn’t really seem to fit in this category (it was a new show. She’s not a new character), Meredith Fell is sketchy, Michonne was on The Walking Dead for like a second, and Ygritte hasn’t brought much good fortune yet. Jaqen was my second choice.

Best Guest Star- Paul Rudd (Parks and Recreation)

Felicia Day was on Supernatural?!! I can’t wait to get to that episode. Emilie de Ravin did NOT fit Belle for me in Once Upon a Time, and she had an Australian accent when no one else in her world does. For me, it came down to Carrie Preston and Paul Rudd. Misha Collins is so cute and hilarious, but he’s not a guest star. He’s on Supernatural all the time. And, again, I didn’t see season seven. I’m over Glee people. Dot Marie Jones was great last year, but now all she does is cry. Matt Bomer is beautiful, but he annoyed me on Glee. Good voice though. Parks and Rec should win something on the Tubeys for this season. It was nearly perfect and Paul fit right in.

Most Anticipated Show of the 2012-2013 Season - The Mindy Project

Awful name, but after reading her book, I’m anxious to see what she would do with her own show. She’s a clever girl. Revolution is my second choice, but something that high-concept is either going to be terrible or it will just beg for an early cancellation that will piss me off.

Favorite Show to Hate Watch - Dance Moms

I don’t even want to hate watch Smash or True Blood anymore. Two and a Half Men is also unwatchable, even for hate. Keeping Up with the Kardashians is so freaking BORING. I’ve seen half an episode, and I admire the attention spans of its friends. America’s Next Top Model used to be my #1 pick for this, but I have since discovered Dance Moms. I am revolted and highly amused. It’s so gross the way they make little girls bear their midriffs and do sexual dances. I’m like, “What the hell, moms?” And then the fat one screams at everyone. Those little girls can dance WELL. They deserve more than that show. But man, it’s so fun to watch. Also, I genuinely like Grey’s Anatomy. And so does DEAN WINCHESTER, love of my life. Haters gonna hate, potatoes gonna potate.

Guiltiest TV Pleasure - Pretty Little Liars

I liked 2 Broke Girls at first because I thought it had potential. Then it kept the canned jokes and racist side characters. Potential unrealized. I picked Dance Mom’s for the last thing. I think I’m gonna pick something I watch that I actually feel a little guilty about watching because it’s so bad. I do NOT feel bad about watching The Vampire Diaries. That show is the tits, and if I’m at all wrong for watching it, I don’t want to be right. I dropped Gossip Girl because it sucks now, and I don’t watch Teen Wolf. Everyone watches Revenge and loves it more than I do, so I don’t have to feel guilty about that. I get little pleasure out of Glee or True Blood. So it’s down to Pretty Little Liars and American Horror Story, both shows that entertain me. With AHS, I can just say, “I like seeing all the homages to old horror” and people still think I’m cool (hint: I’m not), so I have to pick PLL. I don’t see myself dropping it any time soon, and since I’m 25, I should not be watching it. I can’t even defend it to regular people like I can TVD.