Double Crossers- George Sr. Noooooooooo.
As we go through the last lame episode of this season, we shake our heads wondering how the writers, directors, and producers didn't know how hard the beginning would be for people to get through. The cast split up; the jokes still being set up, two George Sr. episodes and two Michael ones! Zzzzz.
But we're almost through the fog and into the episodes that feel like this show, albeit a really dark version of this show. We actually like the darkness. Hello darkness, my old friend. But we're getting ahead of ourselves.
Oscar is having pillow talk with Lucille when Lucille suggest that they send Gob down to the wall building site to teach him the family business. He needs a job and some work ethic. Lucille wants him to sweat.
Back at the fundraiser, George Sr. is unsuccessfully pumping his spiritual retreat so that he can earn money to donate to Herbert Love. The man he is talking to says, "Didn't someone die at that thing?"
George Sr. gives up, but then he runs into Lindsay wearing a cheap red wig. She still looks awesome in it.
He asks his daughter if she has any money, and Lindsay mentions that she has a $50,000 check that Lucille sent Maeby for plastic surgery. George Sr. makes a joke about Lindsay's nose job, but it's still unclear whether Portia has had one. Ugh!
George Sr. takes the check, telling Lindsay that he's going to deposit it in a trust fund for her daughter. Really though, he signs it over to Herbert Love.
Herbert Love announces his support for a wall on TV and George Sr. drives back to his desert colony. There are already government surveyors on the land.
They tell him that the millions of dollars of American property he owned was worthless because it's actually in Mexico. Oscar and his friends didn't know where the line was between the countries. Also, Barry didn't catch it because all the paperwork was in Spanish. Doh!
Gob drives up to the colony. YESSSSS. He's ready to work so that he can be prepared to be president of the company, if he's ever needed.
Gob is driving a limo, and in the back, he has a car full of bees. He's a bee farmer now. Of course, George, Sr. opens the door and gets stung. His entire colony is filled with bees.
Oscar arrives in the panic and tells George Sr. that he was going off Buster's map when he said the property was in America. Oscar leaves to take over George Sr.'s life, and George Sr. follows in order to prevent that.
George Sr. calls Lucille and finds out that Oscar already slept with her. He goes to Dr. Norman, because he's been having problems getting an erection. It's definitely the stress and the maca. Dr. Norman is a hack who doesn't figure it out.
The both end up thinking it's the work of the ostrich shaman he saw. We're not loving the connection the show draws between weakness and being a woman. We kind of like the way the show makes fun of women hating the way they look by having George Sr. suddenly become self-conscious. But we kind of hate it too, you dig?
Dr. Norman accidentally sends George Sr. to Michael's office (Orange County Imagine), getting it confused with Orange County Imaging, a place where George Sr. could actually get an MRI. George Sr. sees Michael and pretends he came to make up with him. He gives Michael the Mexican porn he brought to help with his own erection problem.
We find out that Oscar was the one who turned down the movie and refused to sign the release. He is also the one boning Lucille 2.
George Sr. says he will sign the release if Michael gets Herbert Love against the wall. George Sr. knows the family will go broke if they have to build the wall for the government, but he doesn't have enough money to get Herbert Love to flip flop. Michael agrees to talk to Herbert Love at Love's Cinco De Cuatro speech.
George Sr. goes to Lucille and tells her the bad news. Lucille tells George Sr. that it will ruin the family if they DON'T build the wall. She tells him to get just enough built to trigger the government repayment. Then she tells George Sr. to get Herbert Love to come out against the wall, leaving a partial wall and a full payment to the Bluths.
At his father's behest, Michael puts Gob in charge of Sudden Valley and the two reunite. Gob has been spending his time performing a Christian magic act that Christians don't care for.
Michael rubs his new producer life in Gob's face at first, but the two share and bond over Mike's Hard Lemonade later. Meanwhile, George Sr. finds a way to trick the government into thinking he's built miles of wall already.
Two weeks later at Cinco, George Sr. hopes to hear Herbert Love sway public opinion against the wall. He runs into a drunk Michael with a black eye. Then he runs into Lucille, who is upset that he gave money to Herbert Love and is using her company to build a wall she's running against.
Then, George Sr. goes to Dr. Norman for a check up and finds out that he has almost no testosterone in his system at all, but he's full of estrogen. When it comes time for Hebert Love to make his speech, the party is suddenly ransacked by Hispanic people who apparently don't like the holiday anymore.
The Herbert Love crowd starts chanting, "Put up this wall," and George Sr. looks for a disguise. He finds a red, chenille wig in the garbage and puts it on. He likes it. He hides out in the Bluth apartment. The next day, a cop visits him with the news that Lucille 2 has gone missing. He's pretending to be a woman now. God, we could have done without that whole thing, right?
Episode grade: C