Bones - The Body in the Bag recap/review

Bones is back! We know a lot of readers are ecstatic after the mildly long wait. We have mixed feelings about this episode. On the one hand, we liked it. On the other hand, it sort of made us like Hannah, too. We are ducking, because we can feel the rage coming at us. But come on! She was nothing short of “cool” (unrealistically so) Thursday night and handled the Brennan confession of last year swimmingly. And she’s so pretty. We know she won’t be around forever, so it’s starting to feel ok to enjoy her a little while she lasts. Also, the episode totally ruined buying fake purses and scarves in Chinatown, New York City for us. Rude.

The episode opened with a whorish guy walking through a swanky apartment, calling for his lady-love. He realized that the bedroom shower was on, took off his clothes, and got in to try to join his lover. The water was scalding hot and the guy slipped. He fell on the shower floor and came face-to-face with…you guessed it…a body. And a particularly disgusting body, even for Bones. It was a light beige color, and the decomposition was helped by the scalding water, which created little holes in the remains. Ewww.

Cut to our main characters. Sweets was on a gym treadmill. Booth came up and told Sweets that he was feeling bad about keeping Brennan’s love confession from Hannah. Sweets supported Booth’s decision to be honest with his girlfriend, like a good shrink, and he suggested that this was so hard for Booth because he still had feelings for Dr. Brennan (DUH). Booth got annoyed and mashed some buttons on the treadmill, forcing Sweets to run really fast. That’s what you get for being right, Sweets. Hannah was confused and a little saddened by the news. She didn’t know how she was going to act around Brennan, because she was sure that if she didn’t say something, Brennan would sense that there was a secret between friends. One of us has to wonder: would she though? She's been quite obtuse with Angela before. So Hannah dodged Brennan and their plans to hang out until she had a game plan.

The team was called to the nasty shower. Hodgins made the drain spit remains up on Cam, Brennan, and Booth, which was funny and gross. The apartment belonged to a rich girl who dealt in fake purses. The body had been a Chinese girl who sold the rich girl the fake purses. Booth questioned a lot of people: the leader of the fake purse distribution ring in town, the dead girl’s ex, the rich girl’s boyfriend (who was filming her cheating on him with a teddy bear cam in her apartment), and the rich girl herself. Booth and Sweets watched the footage together. (Sweets: “Does this fall under work or porn?” Booth: “There’s an overlap.”) After some technological help from Angela, the Teddy Bear cam revealed that an agent who was investigating the counterfeiters had slept with the dead girl. This marked the first time in a long time that one of us was surprised by a Bones mystery. The mystery was pretty interesting, and who knew that buying fake purses helped really bad people and aided child labor? It does: http://www.stuffdaily.com/how-buying-fake-designer-handbags-can-harm-you-and-impact-on-our-economy/

Dr. Clark Edison helped with the case. You remember the guy who thought it was inappropriate to have drama and personal relationships going on at work? Well, he got a new girlfriend who has convinced him to be less uptight. We saw the friendlier, warmer, more prying version of Edison this week - and we also learned that he used to work for NSA. Awesome. Just for one summer, but that was enough to freak Hodgins out. Angela, still pregnant, was creeped out by the fact that Hodgins lives in his grandfather’s and father’s old house, so Hodgins bought her the rich girl’s nice apartment. While most people would hate that place, because of all the porn and murder and death, Angela was touched. Hodgins and Angela gave themselves an ultrasound and admired their growing child. They are going to be SUCH good and unique parents. And we wish we would get to see the scene where Hodgins explains his Angela Face Tattoo to the kid in a few years.

After hearing from Angela that Hannah is probably avoiding Brennan, Brennan confronted her. Hannah confessed that she knew about Brennan’s confession and that she understood. The two made plans to get drinks and that stuck. Brennan told Hannah that she was going to move on. As they laughed together at the bar (at Brennan calling the bartender “barkeep!” Lame.), they saw a guy looking in their direction. Hannah pointed out that a guy was looking at Brennan. Brennan replied, “I am not surprised. That’s happens a lot. I AM quite beautiful.” While we agree that Brennan’s face is beautiful, we are not so sure that her current haircut doesn’t completely ruin her. So we decided, in real life, that the guy would be checking out Hannah. Turns out, we were half right. The guy was interested in buying both girls drinks. They told the perv to get lost, laughed, and ordered more drinks.

Is there any way to get rid of Hannah without killing her? Because we don’t want there to be a long grieving period on the show before Brennan and Booth can finally get together for good. As one astute reader pointed out, it is going to be tough to have the show try to force us to grieve Hannah for a long, drawn-out period. The show needs to come up with another way to get rid of Hannah.

Episode Grade: B+