Fantasy and Sci-Fi (Once Upon a Time, last week's Fringe, and the return of Being Human)

Fringe - Back to Where You’ve Never Been

After Walter refuses Peter’s request for help returning home, Peter must go to the alternate universe to ask the next best thing…Walternate. We think Peter should have used the argument “if you help me get home, I will be out of your hair and not threatening your fragile sanity” on Walter, but apparently geniuses sometimes fail at basic persuasion skills? We find out that Walternate is not behind the shapeshifters being sent to “our world.” September the Observer appears to Olivia after having been shot and tells Olivia that he has been to every possible future, and in all of them, Olivia must die. Eerie. This episodes pacing was better than some Fringe episodes, but we’re not sure about this Peter arc. It still needs to pay off for us, and we wonder if this alternate timeline will be relevant if Peter makes it home. We like this show, but it has serious problems. For one thing, the first half of season one was almost completely unwatchable. For another, we are starting to wonder what the point is and where it's all going. We still want to know though. 
Episode grade: B-

Once Upon a Time - True North

Storybrooke: Nicholas and Ava are living on their own, stealing food from local stores, because their mother passed away and they don’t want to be separated in foster care. Emma will not stop until she finds their biological father and gets him to take custody. She succeeds! Emma was the least annoying she has ever been in this episode, and we think it has to do with the fact that she got a new outfit. It looks so good and so much less tacky. In the fairy world, Nicholas and Ava were Hansel and Gretel. The Evil Queen separated the twins from their father in order to get them to steal the poisoned apple from another witch…the one living in the candy house. Hansel is an idiot and never speaks, but he almost ruins the plan and gets himself eaten. Gretel saves everything and is both honest and capable.

Hansel and Gretel are not reunited with their father at the end of the episode and must search for him, with the help of a compass he gave them. At the end of the episode, Emma and Henry see a stranger ride his motorcycle into town. He is the first newcomer, other than Emma, to come into the enchanted area. Things are changing since Emma arrived…. We wonder who he is (Henry's dad? Sheriff Graham reincarnated?) and if he has any connection to the fairytale world. We usually aren’t fans of anything with multiple child actors, but this episode worked, in a family-friendly way. We felt for the twins and started to like Emma more, which is good, since she’s the main character.
Episode grade: B

Being Human - Turn this Mother Out

Aidan is taking care of Bishop’s followers by feeding them blood packets, much to Josh’s annoyance. Aidan is waiting for Mother, the vampire queen, to arrive in town and give orders. Nora, Josh’s girlfriend, moves into the house and secretly fears that she is going to turn into a werewolf soon, since she was scratched about a month ago. Nora questions Josh about what it’s like to turn furry while trying to keep her secret fears from him. Sally attends her high school reunion and gets stronger/more able to move things around the house. Sally also finds out that she is able to dream, even though she is dead. She has a freaky dream. We wonder if that will turn into anything.

When Mother arrives, she decides that Bishop’s “orphans” are to be killed. She names her own daughter, who sounds crazypants, as head of Boston, and she orders Aidan to be her second-in-command. Aidan now has to assist “Daughter” in return for freedom from the council, as promised by Mother. What are the chances she intends to keep her word? Aidan is forced to kill some of Bishop’s turn-ees in order to prove his loyalty to Mother. Mother orders Josh shot and killed by council members so that Aidan is not distracted from his duties. The night of the full moon, both Josh and Nora turn into werewolves. Josh is shot by the vampire Heggeman. Everything ends on that cliffhanger.

We are enthused to have this show back. Mother is a great new villain! We can't wait to meet her possibly unstable daughter. Our hearts lie with Josh, but our interests lie in Aidan’s doings. If they could make Sally’s ghost life scarier, as it has been a little creepy in the past and it was eerie in the dream, the show would be perfect on all three fronts. This show is by far more interesting than its premise would have you believe. The season two opener was action-packed and decently emotional. We love all three main characters. There wasn't a moment that was not entertaining. What more could you want? Maybe a love interest for Aidan that pulls the heartstrings? Can this show do romance? We'd like to see it try. 
Episode grade: A

Glee - Yes/No

Cooter and Beiste eloped! Beiste showed off her ring and new marital status to Sue and Emma in the teacher’s lounge. Emma looks sad, which means Beiste’s situation is about to become all about her. And people gave RACHEL trouble for making things all about her this week? Uh uh, Emma was way worse. At least she prefaced her taking over of the episode by assuring Beiste that she was so happy for her, but it was like a disclaimer. Emma imagines a version of “Wedding Bell Blues” with Sue and Beiste as backup singers. The song is all about how Emma is sad that Will hasn’t proposed yet.

There are a myriad of good reasons for this. Emma has mental problems. Emma and Will have not had sex, that we know of. This being Glee, we think we would know if they had. Emma has shown no indication that she will ever be able to have sex. Will just got out of another marriage. They haven’t been together that long. Emma’s parents are more insane than she is. But Emma has supposedly been expecting a proposal. So she runs up to Will and proposes. Then she takes it back, sort of, and runs away. Will gets the message. He goes to New Directions and asks them how he should propose, because he thinks that CLEARLY it should be done via song.

Artie’s idea is for will to sing a song where he can show off his dance moves, next to Mike Chang, which leads to “Moves Like Jagger,” sung by Artie. It was hard for us to want to watch this and we didn’t like the experience of doing so. The girls in the group sing “The First Time Ever I Saw Your Face.” It’s sweet, but forgettable. One thing we hated was Rachel crying during it. We get that she loves Finn and drama, but we thought it was annoying. Also, when you cry, you get a lump in your throat. She would not sound normal if she were crying and singing at the same time and she sounded like she always does.

Mercedes runs out of the theater when it’s over, stealing Rachel’s drama, and cries in the bathroom about loving Sam more than her current boyfriend. Good. Speaking of Sam, the episode started with him and Mercedes singing “Summer Nights” from Grease, our second-favorite number of the night. It was cute and it fit both the show and story.

Will goes to Emma’s parents to ask permission to marry him. How did he THINK that was going to go? They don’t want him to marry Emma, because he is not red-haired. When they denied Will permission to marry Emma, they actually had a decent reason. Because of Emma’s OCD, she would not be able to handle children and all the mess they make, what with poop and vomit coming out of their every orifice at all times. However, marriage doesn't HAVE to lead to children. Just saying. Will goes to Emma and passes those concerns onto her. Emma tells Will to make up his mind if he wants her or let her go. Ballsy, Emma. She also lets him know that she’s been taking her meds and is getting better.

Will realizes he needs to step up, so he proposes to Emma at the school pool. The Glee club and synchronized swimming club have pooled…heh…their resources to create a performance of “We Found Love” complete with pool dancing and Artie in a floating chair. Best part of the entire episode (and probably season, and maybe series): Artie rolling his wheelchair into the pool. The look on his face was priceless.We want to be able to swim in those adorable outfits the girls were wearing. Will must think he is Jesus now, because he walked on a clear surface that made him look like he was walking on top of the water. He walked right up to Emma and proposed to her. We were surprised she thought it was acceptable to be near public waters. People pee in pools, Emma. Emma says yes. We don’t know if we liked the performance. We will think about it.

Speaking of the synchronized swimming team, Sam joined up in order to get a letterman’s jacket to impress Mercedes, since her boyfriend, Shane, has one. Sam cannot imagine another reason why Mercedes would pick Shane over him. We can't either. The team is coached by guest star NeNe Leakes, who wants to let the world know that black people can, in fact, swim.

We got to hear Becky’s internal monologue voiced by Helen Mirren, which might be our favorite thing about the episode. It worked and it was hilarious. We hope Helen does this for Glee again. Becky has a crush on Artie, so she asked him out. She watched one of his performances and then had dinner at Breadstix. Becky then decided it was time to make love. Sue tells Artie that he should treat Becky just like he would any other girl he was not interested in.

Artie used a great breakup line that we are going to use (“I like being friends with you, but I don’t think we should date”) and Becky was crushed. She knew it was because she had Down’s. Becky went to Sue, who comforted her with ice cream, TV, and kind words. Sue was the sweetest she has ever been throughout this whole episode, and it felt right, rather than forced, weird, and unfunny, like when she volunteered with the homeless or visited cancer kids.

The most emotional part of the episode happened when Finn tells Will that he is planning to join the army to be like his father, a man Finn has revered for the entirety of his life. Will tells Finn’s parents about Finn’s plans, wisely deciding that they should counsel Finn before Finn signs up. Carol tells Finn that his father did not die in Iraq. A part of him died. Finn’s father had a drug problem after his horrible war experience and died of an overdose. Finn freaks out and we feel really bad for him. He no longer has a role model, even though Carol says that there was so much more to his father and his father’s life than the time he spent as an addict.

Rachel sings “Without You” in the club to inspire Will, to everyone’s derision. It was our favorite number of the night, so screw all you other Glee club members. We love when this show swaps the genders on a song. Rachel usually doesn’t sound great singing popular music, but this song worked for her. She inspired Finn instead of Will. Finn decided that Rachel was the best thing about his life and future. He takes her to the auditorium, gives her a sincere and wonderful speech, and then Finn proposes. Rachel’s face holds a myriad of emotions, so we wonder if she will say yes. Our advice to her would be to say no, since she is so young. Our other advice to her would be to get rid of the bangs already! We’ve forgotten if she has a forehead.

This was a sweet episode that lacked wtf moments and Kurt. It wasn’t as funny as former entries, but it brought the heart we’ve been missing. Glee runs hot and cold, and this episode was hot.

Episode grade: B+

Cougar Town Return Date!!

Cougar Town is returning on February 14th! Now all we need is Community and all will be right with the world.

Source: http://www.eonline.com/news/watch_with_kristin/cougar_town_finally_gets_premiere_date/287134

Alcatraz

We were excited for this show because of its former LOST star, J.J. Abrams pedigree, writers, and return to an island, but we kind of hated the idea of the premise. The FBI hires a female detective and a scholar to track down Alcatraz prisoners who disappeared in the 60s and are turning up now, having not aged a day. This premise has all the makings of a crime procedural, and we don’t need more of those. We already have the new Person of Interest for our procedural with a sci-fi twist needs. They have a LOST alum too (and a better one, in our opinions). There’s also Fringe, a show that is similar to Alcatraz. It even feels similar.

However, the pacing of Alcatraz is more viewer-friendly, which is a blessing. The pilot and second episodes were good starts. We wonder if the weekly cases can stay interesting and if there will be enough overarching plotline to keep the blogger who hates procedurals. If you’ve been paying attention, you will know that blogger is Ern. This show is everything we expected, which is good because our expectations were high.

The show isn’t perfect or particularly original yet, but there is vast potential. We think it’s one to watch. There were two episodes with two criminals driving the plot of each hour. The first episode featured a criminal who was a little sympathetic and decent looking. This was a good idea for the first criminal, in order to hook us. This man, Jack Sylvane, was imprisoned federally for robbing a grocery store (because it doubled as a post office) in order to feed his family after serving in the military oversees. Jack’s wife, whom he loved dearly, divorced him and married his brother. Harsh.

The Deputy Warden was arbitrarily and unnecessarily cruel to Jack, putting Jack in solitary confinement on visiting day. This criminal will probably recur more in the future, because he did in the second episode where Hauser tried to get information out of him. Another good thing is that both criminals so far had a back story, distinct killing methods and motives, and different personalities. The more unique and interesting the weekly murderers are, the better the cases will be. The second criminal, Cobb, was all creepy and weird with his picnic breakfasts, penchant for dining alone, OCD, and mad shooting skills.

The criminals don’t seem confused as to what they are doing in the future. Jack Sylvane also killed a man seemingly on orders, because Jack had no beef with this man. Jack also killed the (now very old) former Deputy Warden who tormented him. It looks like these criminals were saved for a purpose by some greater power and the FBI wants to find out who and what that power is.

We liked the cute-as-a-button heroine, Detective Rebecca Madsen, and hope her character soon gets developed more. Her partner was recently killed, and she realized that he was killed by her grandfather, another escaped/reappearing inmate. We hope Hurley…excuse us… DOCTOR Hurley gets more to do and has a personality beyond “nerd.” His name in this show is Diego Soto, but you can’t expect us to remember that at all times, since he will always be Hurley to us. Forever.

We like the sinister ally in the FBI’s Emerson Hauser. He strikes us as a little too happy to be imprisoning people. Hauser has a facility in the woods, hidden, that is modeled after Alcatraz where he is storing the prisoners once he recaptures them. Hauser was a guard at Alcatraz when he was younger and saw the prison on the night everyone, guards and prisoners alike, disappeared. Hauser has aged, so we know he didn’t disappear. Hauser works with a doctor named Lucy (the girl from Bend it Like Beckham!!). In a flashback, we saw Lucy, looking the same age as she does in the present, working as Cobb’s doctor in Alcatraz.

So, as you can see, there is a lot there and it was all pretty well-executed so far. We will be tuning in next week for more mysterious festivities and we hope everyone else will too. There were good ratings for the show last night. We want it to last long enough for us to see where it goes. Much better than Undercovers, J.J.!

Pilot grade: B+

Second episode ("Ernest Cobb") grade: B

Pretty Little Liars - Let the Water Hold Me Down

Hanna sat in her bedroom with her friends around her, questioning her about what happened with Lucas. Hanna wasn't ready to talk about it. We knew Lucas wasn’t dead, and so did Hanna. She had a feeling that he was ok, which was intended by the show to confirm our thinking. Because people worry about the worst possible scenario, we think it would have been more realistic for Hanna to have worried that she murdered Lucas. Just a thought.  Just about everyone also knew Lucas was a red herring and we were right. Lucas is not A, nor does he appear to be working for A, unless that story he told Hanna and Caleb was completely made up. He had enough time to think about it. Hmmm. Dun dun DUNNN. (That’s supposed to be scary music.)

While Lucas was missing, Caleb questioned Hanna about what happened and she told him nothing. Caleb was panicked about finding Lucas and wondered why Hanna wasn’t. They bickered and Caleb took off to find Lucas. Of course, Lucas snuck into Hanna’s house to talk to her. AT NIGHT. Why would anyone do that? Caleb arrived just in time to serve as protection, if needed. And it wasn’t needed.

Lucas said that he was traveling and selling his old nerd stuff (comics, collectables) to raise money. Apparently, Caleb left $4,000 with Lucas when he went to his mom’s, Lucas gambled it, and Lucas lost it on the sketchy website he had up on his computer a few episodes ago.  He didn’t want to tell Caleb but knew he had to. He was trying to rope Hanna in to help tell Caleb so that the blow would be softened by the presence of Caleb’s girlfriend. Good plan in theory, Lucas. In practice, it’s never good to start acting scary and weird around a girl. Rookie mistake. He’s in high school. He’ll learn.

Mona was dumped by Noel Kahn and got comfort from Spencer. She's the best. Emily found out that Maya hooked up with a boy while she was away and that boy has been sending Maya unwanted texts. Emily is ok with Maya having a romantic dalliance with someone else while she was at camp, but Emily is surprised that the hook up was male. Emily got Maya a fake ID so that they could go out together. It was one of Aria’s. Emily thought it passed because a) it was the best option Emily had, b) Aria is the same height as Maya, and c) Aria has the same hair color as Maya. But Emily: One is black and the other is white. But they were going to Camden, so it's not like it mattered.

Spencer found evidence in her lake house, leading her to the city where Melissa lives and Jenna went to school for the blind. Spencer was unable to get information about Jenna from the school, so she stole a logbook. Wow, that’s not smart smart. Or even smart. That woman saw Spencer and the blind kid got Spencer’s name. If they called Jenna, they could get Spencer’s last name. Speaking of the blind kid: Spencer talked to a cute blind guy who knew Jenna. He was really impressed and inspired by Jenna’s focus and attitude. In the logbook, Spencer found information that showed that Garret checked Jenna out of the school the night Alison disappeared and the two never checked back in.

Holden asked Aria out and she accepted. They went to a play, like a couple of literature jokes (not that there’s anything wrong with that) because Aria was pretty sure Ezra would be there. They saw each other. The world stopped, music played, Aria’s hair blew a little in slow motion, Ezra looked constipated, then Ezra avoided Aria and left the theater. We are a little annoyed with that, because Ezra has made us watch this love affair for nearly two years and now he’s not even going to fight for it? Not even take a risk? Chicken.

Holden noticed everything and figured out that Aria’s parents were forbidding Ezra and Aria to see each other. Don't let the smart one go, Aria! Holden impressed us there. Rather than be offended, Holden thought of a way that he and Aria could help each other out. He asked her on another “date.” It seems that they will be covering for each other, like a couple of beards, so that the Ezra/Aria affair can continue. It’s really Ezra who should have to nut up and concoct a plan for the two to be together, but we guess Aria has to do everything herself.

If we were the four girls, we would start setting up hidden cameras everywhere. We thought it was pretty cool when A put the boat in the flooded school sink, but it’s just another example that A goes everywhere and could be filmed at some point, if the girls are tenacious and creative with cameras. We also liked the worms in the food. One of us kind of wants to do that to someone, so watch out if you know us, haha. Good pranks this week, A. This episode was more character-driven than action-filled, and while we like action, it was time for a quiet, creepy episode like this one.

Adios for now. We are off to blind schools to find hot guys who are so blind that they don’t notice that we are not good-looking enough for them. Woo hoo. We always get the best ideas from this show.

Episode grade: B+

Great news for fans of the Glee Project

The Glee Project has been renewed for a second season! Yay! We are excited, because we love seeing real, talented kids nurtured and treated well while they get a chance at stardom. This show quickly because more interesting, entertaining, and heartfelt than the show it was based on (Glee). Now, if only they would release MP3s of the performances on this spin off.

There has been a change. Instead of 12 selected contestants competing, the show will start with 14. We can't wait.

Napoleon Dynamite - Thundercone and Scantronica Love

Ern loved the Napoleon Dynamite movie and really wanted this to be a funny cartoon. This isn’t a matter of Ern not having the right sense of humor for Napoleon Dynamite, because every joke in the movie sends her into laughing fits. The unfortunate thing about the cartoon is that it’s not the same. At all. The humor is a little wacky and cartoonish, rather than flat and weird.

Also, one of the funniest things about the movie was that these were real, funny-looking people wearing those 80s clothes and being dorky. A cartoon being dorky is not out of the ordinary. A version of this with sets and the real actors, weekly, would have worked a lot better. Those sets and costumes can't be very expensive. 

The show doesn’t add much to the movie’s jokes (it repeats them a lot). The writing isn’t funny. The plots aren’t good. The original voices are there, which is good. If you smoke weed, this show might be a good thing to leave on while you do that, but we can’t imagine another use for it. There were a few mildly amusing lines, but overall, this show is a humor failure. It’s better than a lot of adult cartoons though. 

It could get better, but we’re going to have to hear that from a credible source before we watch this show again. The movie lost all the laughs in the transition from movie to weekly cartoon. If the show went back to the original tone and humor type, it might have a chance, but for now, it sucks. Ern is disappointed. Gosh!

Show grade: C

If We Ruled The Golden Globes, These Would Be the Winners

Is anyone else sick of Golden Globes coverage on the TV and internet? Well, too bad, because we want to put our two cents in before the show airs tonight. After that, it will all be over and we will finally have new red carpet dresses to look at.

Best Motion Picture – Drama

The Descendants----OUR PICK

The Help

Hugo

The Ides of March

Moneyball

War Horse

The Help was more of a popcorn flick than something worthy of awards because of its blatant emotional manipulation. We think War Horse has the same problem. While it looks great, we don’t like plotless pastiches of tear-jerking scenes. The Ides of March is too smug for us. Hugo was good, but it was too long and we didn't care about the characters. That leaves Moneyball and The Descendants, two movies we really liked. We’re going to have to go with The Descendants, because when it was emotional, it was genuine. You know you instantly teared up in the pool scene. There were laughs as well. Moneyball’s ending was accurate but worked against it, leaving a ho-hum taste in our mouths.

Best Motion Picture – Comedy or Musical

50/50

The Artist

Bridesmaids---- OUR PICK

Midnight in Paris

My Week With Marilyn

We haven’t seen 50/50, The Artist, or My Week with Marilyn. We don’t really want to see the latter two, but we feel like we have to, eventually. Midnight in Paris was cute, but Bridesmaids had more heart, more laughs, and was less snooty than anything Woody Allen has ever made.

Best Director – Motion Picture

Woody Allen, Midnight in Paris

George Clooney, The Ides of March

Michel Hazanavicius, The Artist

Alexander Payne, The Descendants---- OUR PICK

Martin Scorsese, Hugo

We dug Alexander’s tone in The Descendents. He kept it emotional without letting it get super depressing. We are really annoyed that David Fincher isn’t in this category for Girl with the Dragon Tattoo.

Best Actor in a Motion Picture – Drama

George Clooney, The Descendants

Leonardo DiCaprio, J. Edgar

Michael Fassbender, Shame

Ryan Gosling, The Ides of March

Brad Pitt, Moneyball---- OUR PICK

We only saw Clooney and Pitt’s performances, but we like the other three guys as actors, so we are sure they were good. We think Fassbender should get points for taking a role lots of actors would run from. For now, our pick is Brad Pitt, because we forgot he was Brad Pitt when we were watching Moneyball, and because there were better things about The Descendants than George Clooney's performance.

Best Actor in a Motion Picture – Comedy Musical

Jean Dujardin, The Artist

Brendan Gleeson, The Guard

Joseph Gordon Levitt, 50/50

Ryan Gosling, Crazy Stupid Love---- OUR PICK

Owen Wilson, Midnight in Paris

Owen Wilson is in this category? Really? Do they mean it ironically? In Midnight in Paris, we thought he just played a writer version of Owen Wilson. Hardly any acting was done. We love Brendan Gleeson but didn’t see The Guard. We’re going with Ryan Gosling in order to reward him for Drive along with it. He probably won’t win though, because Crazy Stupid Love was a generic rom-com (that one of us loved anyway).

Best Actress in a Motion Picture – Drama

Glenn Close, Albert Nobbs

Viola Davis, The Help

Rooney Mara, The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo---OUR PICK

Meryl Streep, The Iron Lady

Tilda Swinton, We Need to Talk About Kevin

Speaking of movies we don’t want to see—Albert Nobbs. It looks boring. Same thing with The Iron Lady, even if it's based on a fascinating woman. Plus, Meryl has enough awards. We Need to Talk About Kevin just came out, so how is anyone supposed to have seen it? We thought Emma Stone and Octavia Spencer were just as good as Viola Davis. The one that stands out for us is Rooney Mara for hard work, total commitment, study, and talent.

Best Actress in a Motion Picture – Musical/Comedy

Jodie Foster, Carnage

Charlize Theron, Young Adult---- OUR PICK

Kristen Wiig, Bridesmaids

Michelle Williams, My Week With Marilyn

Kate Winslet, Carnage

Charlize made us feel sorry for a character we hated. We were rooting for the villain to get better while we were loathing her and laughing at her. We haven’t seen Carnage, and we probably won’t, because Roman Polanski directed it and he rapes children. We adore Kristen Wiig and would be happy if she won, too.

Best Actor in a Supporting Role – Motion Picture

Kenneth Branagh, My Week With Marilyn

Albert Brooks, Drive---- ERN’S PICK

Jonah Hill, Moneyball

Viggo Mortensen, A Dangerous Method

Christopher Plummer, Beginners----LEEARD’S PICK

Hey, we finally disagreed on something! Jonah Hill, we liked you better fat. Viggo Mortensen, we liked you better as Aragorn. And nice facial hair in A Dangerous Method. Good to know you’ve celebrated your 80^th birthday. Kenneth Branagh, no matter what you do, we will never forgive you for that hideously boring Frankenstein movie. Albert Brooks is Ern’s pick, because he was genuinely scary in Drive. Leeard is rooting for Christopher Plummer, because that’s always a good idea.

Best Actress in a Supporting Role – Motion Picture

Berenice Bejo, The Artist

Jessica Chastain, The Help

Janet McTeer, Albert Nobbs

Octavia Spencer, The Help---- ERN’S PICK

Shailene Woodley, The Descendants--- LEEARD’S PICK

Shailene proved that not everyone on The Secret Life of the American Teenager is bad at acting, given proper direction and a good character (which Leeard has been saying forever, so thank you, Shailene). Octavia is a little-known actress having a big moment for proving she is a laugh machine. Everyone should be eating Minny’s s*** at the Globes, in Ern’s opinion.

Best Screenplay – Motion Picture

Midnight in Paris

The Ides of March

The Artist

The Descendants

Moneyball---- OUR PICK

Midnight in Paris had a sweet and true message about nostalgia, and it’s one of the more universally tolerable messages a Woody Allen movie has carried. However, we think they made Hemingway weird. That’s not how we pictured his personality.  We are going to pick Moneyball. That script was funny and intense. One of us doesn’t really care about sports, but this movie was entertaining to her anyway. Any movie that can make baseball that interesting, and allows for non-sports nerds to use the word "sabermetrics" accurately deserves some awards.

Best Animated Feature Film

The Adventures of Tin-Tin

Arthur Christmas

Cars 2

Puss N Boots

Rango---- OUR PICK

Rango is our choice, if only for having the guts to make its main creature such an uggo.

Best Original Score – Motion Picture

The Artist

W.E.

The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo---- OUR PICK

Hugo

War Horse

Because this is the only CD we would consider buying. Also because Trent Reznor and Atticus Ross should be scoring every movie ever. However, on further reflection, The Artist absolutely deserves (deserved, now) to win. In a silent film, other than the acting/body language, the music is the most important thing to set the tone of the scenes.

FINALLY, THE TV

Best TV Series – Drama

American Horror Story

Boardwalk Empire

Boss

Game of Thrones---- LEEARD'S PICK

Homeland---- ERN'S PICK

WHERE THE HELL IS BREAKING BAD DAMMIT? Sigh. Fine. Be that way, Globes. American Horror Story is too loud and weird to win, probably, and it wasn’t our favorite of these anyway. Boardwalk Empire is the likely winner because of its shocking ending this season, but we are still bored by it and angry at it for making us watch so much Steve Buscemi sex. Steve Buscemi is literally the last person on Earth we wanted to see having sex. We hear Boss got really good, but we didn’t stay with it. We’re not hard to grab, so that says something. Game of Thrones is Leeard’s pick because of the way it designed that world and brought the best of George R.R. Martin’s characters and dialogue to the TV screen. It looks like a real labor of love. Homeland is Ern’s pick, because nothing else gripped her that much this year. It’s 24 for smarter people and that needs to be rewarded.

Best TV Series – Musical or Comedy

Enlightened

Episodes

Glee

Modern Family

New Girl---- OUR PICK

New Girl won’t win, but it’s our choice. We laughed more watching this show than the others, even though Ern is annoyed with an age 30+ woman who doesn’t know not to wear overalls on a date. Why is stupid sexy and cute? Zooey is gorgeous, talented, and charming, but this (hilarious, wonderful) show is a huge step back for women. Still, it’s prime comedy so we hope it wins. Modern Family is currently on its weakest season, Glee is still uneven, and Enlightened is more dramady than comedy. Not that this will stop Enlightened from winning. Episodes would be our second choice, even though there weren’t as many laughs as expected and Matt LeBlanc was the only good thing about it.

Best Actor in a TV Series – Drama

Steve Buscemi, Boardwalk Empire

Bryan Cranston, Breaking Bad

Kelsey Grammer, Boss

Jeremy Irons, The Borgias

Damian Lewis, Homeland--- OUR PICK

Hello shows that only Ern has seen! Weird. Leeard is floored that Ern isn’t automatically picking Bryan Cranston, because Breaking Bad should go home with something for this awesome season. But Ern doesn’t want to be hasty. Ern usually likes Jeremy Irons, but The Borgias sucks. Kelsey Grammer was not only good, he’s also FRASIER, which is a longtime Ern obsession. Damian Lewis kept his character interesting and believable. Buscemi is such a good actor that no one minds that he’s such an eyesore. Cranston has been rewarded  for his show already. If Aaron Paul were in this category, it would be a Breaking Bad slam dunk, because it’s time for Aaron Paul recognition. Damian Lewis for the win.

Best Actress in a TV Series – Drama

Claire Danes, Homeland---- ERN’S PICK

Mireille Enos, The Killing

Julianna Margulies, The Good Wife

Madeline Stowe, Revenge---- LEEARD’S PICK

Callie Thorne, Necessary Roughness

Julianna Margulies spends most of her time on The Good Wife wearing a poker face and speaking in a professional tone. Most people mock Mireille Enos’ acting on The Killing, so we’re not touching that (even though Leeard would be fine with her winning). Leeard watched Necessary Roughness and doesn't understand how Callie Thorne got nominated. Leeard is picking Madeline Stowe for her great comeback on one of Leeard’s new favorite shows. Ern is going with Claire Danes for all the crazy and all the heart. She and Damian were equally good, and we picked him. It takes two to tango.

Best Actor in a TV Series – Musical or Comedy

Alec Baldwin, 30 Rock

David Duchovny, Californication

Johnny Galecki, The Big Bang Theory---- LEEARD’S PICK

Thomas Jane, Hung

Matt LeBlanc, Episodes---- ERN’S PICK

This is where Ern picks Matt LeBlanc for spoofing himself and single-handedly saving a show. This is also where Leeard reminds everyone that she loves The Big Bang Theory.

Best Actress in a TV Series – Musical or Comedy

Laura Dern, Enlightened

Zooey Deschanel, New Girl---- LEEARD’S PICK

Tina Fey, 30 Rock

Laura Linney, The Big C---- ERN’S PICK

Amy Poehler, Parks and Recreation- more of an ensemble thing

You might expect us to pick Amy because of how much Parks and Rec love happens on this blog, but we think that show is too much of an ensemble achievement to just reward one cast member. Laura Dern left us concerned, not laughing. 30 Rock appears to be past its prime. Leeard loves Zooey Deschanel. Ern thinks Laura Linney carries The Big C and kept it from being too dark this season.

Best Supporting Actor in a Series, Miniseries or TV Movie

Peter Dinklage, Game of Thrones---- OUR PICK

Paul Giamatti, Too Big to Fail

Guy Pearce, Mildred Pierce

Tim Robbins, Cinema Verite

Eric Stonestreet, Modern Family

This is a no-brainer for both of us. If you disagree, you obviously haven’t seen Game of Thrones.

Best Supporting Actress in a Series, Miniseries or TV Movie

Jessica Lange, American Horror Story---- OUR PICK

Kelly Macdonald, Boardwalk Empire

Maggie Smith, Downton Abbey

Sofia Vergara, Modern Family

Evan Rachel Wood, Mildred Pierce

This is one time our pick will probably (hopefully) be the actual winner. Jessica Lange doing her thing never gets old, and American Horror Story should come away with something.

Important information for Pretty Little Liars fans trying to guess who A is and everyone wondering if the A will be a good choice/satisfying

Ashley Benson has revealed that A is not the same person as it is in the books. The show wants to “throw its audience off a bit.” They “twisted it.” When the cast got the script and did the cold reading, finding out who A was for the first time, “Everyone’s jaw was on the floor,” according to Lucy Hale. Ian Harding started laughing because he couldn’t believe it. Everyone was yelling and talking at once. Lucy said, “I think it’ll make people want to go back and watch the show from the beginning because there are clues and it all kind of makes sense.”

Supposedly, if you do a series marathon, the clues are all going to be there. If you re-watch everything from the pilot onward, it will make sense. Keegan Allen said that the writers did a good job linking everything and making it realistic and that everyone is shocked at who A is. Shay Mitchell says that the finale should please fans and that it might be her favorite episode. Keegan Allen said that the finale opens up lots of possibilities for the show.

We are excited about this, because we want to be surprised about who A is, but we also want it to make sense. The best twist is one where you are shocked, but then you look back at all the clues and wonder how you could have missed it. We know who A was in the books, and while it is a good twist that would do the TV series justice, it’s better for everyone that it’s different.

We are a little nervous that Ian Harding was laughing. The revelation should not be funny. We hope it was mostly shocked laughter or laughter in gratitude to the writers for making a twist so good. There is little chance that we will re-watch both seasons of Pretty Little Liars soon, because we have so much TV to watch. We hope that we will be able to remember most of the clues. It would be a shame if the only way to appreciate the revelation would be to go back and have a series marathon.

Finally, we hope there is another A for season three, or some other mystery that is equally as good. While the personal lives and dramas of the girls are fine and interesting, they are not enough to carry a whole show, in our opinions. 

ABC cancels Work It

We like this news and wonder why the channel thought this show was a good idea anyway. Anyone who saw the trailer before the show aired knew it was possibly the worst show ever made. Good job for not watching, America!

Let's hope Rob is next (even though it's nowhere near as bad).

New show - The Finder and other Thursday shows

The Office - Trivia

Are we crazy, or was this a decent episode? We liked Dwight’s initiative. The scene where he grabbed Gabe’s arm after Gabe pretended to flush a toilet was inspired. Yes, Gabe, you are a great toilet. After that, the Dwight storyline fell flat. It should have had a different outcome and more jokes after Dwight bested Gabe. We like that the “stupid” team won the trivia and the whole idea of trivia. However, we wonder what kind of business like that can’t do $850 in a day. We knew Dunder Mifflin was pathetic, but we hadn’t grasped how pathetic until today. This episode was a lot better than the episodes in the beginning of this season. We still think that the show should quit soon and let its considerable talent move onto projects that have no run their course. These writers and actors need fresh ideas. 
Episode grade: B-

Grey’s Anatomy - This Magic Moment

The doctors take on conjoined twins with great success, and Webber cheats Karev out of surgery, twice, in order to teach Karev a lesson. We totally knew he was playing Alex both times, especially the second time. Come on, Alex! The only heartbreaking stuff this episode was Teddy questioning Cristina for two full weeks about the Henry surgery so that Teddy could get closure. April, an annoying bystander in this storyline, continues to bug us. We love the growth of Cristina, whose patience with Teddy rivaled Job’s. Cristina’s been to dark places herself now, and it’s given her the compassion we’ve always wanted to see her have. Bailey wasted our time waffling about her relationship with that nurse guy. No one cares. It seems like all of Bailey’s storylines are on repeat. Does she even want a guy? Bailey should focus on her career, because only Shonda is getting gratification living vicariously through the romantic life of this character. Baby Zola took her first steps and is still cuter than most kids we’ve ever seen. This episode was filler, but after the powerhouse last two episodes that bummed us out, we needed filler. We realized that this show is eight seasons in and still not a waste of our time. That’s an achievement, despite brief missteps over the years (Gizzie, musicals, etc) Too much Bailey this week though.
Episode grade: C+

Parks and Recreation - The Comeback Kid

Andy and April adopted a three-legged dog, which guarantees this episode at least a B- in and of itself. Fortunately, we also got the gang walking across ice and depressed Ben the claymation-ist. We got a few chuckles out of this one, even though it wasn’t on-par with some of the other episodes this season.
Episode grade: B

Secret Circle - Fire/Ice

Man, The CW is really targeting emo, freak, and goth kids with Adam. We wish he were more our taste, but you can’t blame the channel for wanting some variety with its run-of-the-mill Ken dolls and obvious cuties. The lucky girl kissing Adam this week was Cassie. It was bound to happen, but we were surprised it happened so soon. Adam’s jumping from pining for Diana to going after Cassie sure happened quickly. In other news, Faye tries to steal Cassie’s dark powers and almost kills her circle members (except Cassie), an unintended consequence. Cassie and Adam found out that Jake is back in town after he interrupted their kiss. While this episode was eventful, it didn’t really grab us. It had lots of noise and that by itself is not good. We found out that the house the kids use belonged to Cassie’s dad, who did not start the fire. We think this show needs to focus less on “danger of the week” and more on characters and overarching plots.
Episode grade: B-

The Finder - “Pilot”

This is called a Bones spin off and it’s nowhere near as good as Bones was in the beginning. It also has nothing to do with Bones. Main character Walter Sherman spends his time finding missing people and things. He’s talented at it, and he does it along with a few sidekicks. The first episode was generic and forgettable. It’s not awful, but if you have more than five decent shows on your weekly must-watch list, you don’t have time to add this one too. If you are absolutely obsessed with Bones and would watch it without the Booth/Brennan love arc, go ahead and watch this show too. We think Seeley and Temperance are what make Bones worth watching, and The Finder doesn’t have them. It’s a regular, comfortable procedural. It’s going for a lighthearted, breezy, quirky tone. The fun characters might make the show worth watching later, but it’s not a must-watch yet. Wait and see, then catch up on the first season if it turns out to be a hit.
Episode grade: C

The Vampire Diaries - Our Town

There’s no way we can do a short post on this episode.

Ern jokingly deemed this episode “decent,” to Leeard’s retort that it was, in fact, great. But the more Ern thinks about the events, the more Ern realizes that this episode was brilliant. It took the show in a few different ways, breathing new life into it. Not that the show was dead, by any means. We just wondered what was next after the Klaus/Stefan stalemate. First of all, this episode was aptly named. With Caroline’s “funeral” (the dead girl looking back over her life), and all the emotional points it hit about growing up, moving on, and love, bringing our minds to the play “Our Town” was a perfect way to let us know what was in store.

We were pleased to see that Alaric is still training Elena to be Buffy, as hopeless a cause as that is. Klaus orders Tyler to bite Caroline, because his bite would be fatal to our Vampire Barbie. Tyler refuses and is happy to find out that he can tell Klaus “no.” Stefan and Damon have been killing hybrids as they come across them (we love when Damon pulls out hearts, even if it’s overdone in vampire fare).  Stefan goes to Klaus and tells him that if Klaus doesn’t remove his hybrids from Mystic Falls, Stefan will just kill them all, and he will start killing Klaus’ family as well. Stefan unexpectedly kills a hybrid right in front of Klaus, and it’s bad ass. Stefan is becoming the better villain indeed. Damon doesn’t like this plan, because Klaus will simply make more using Elena’s blood. Even according to Stefan, protecting Elena is Damon’s job now. Stefan lets everyone know that revenge is his main priority now, but we don’t fully believe him.

Caroline has straight hair in this episode. She looks older with straight hair. It’s Caroline’s 18^th birthday, but she’s too bummed about Tyler, Klaus, and being 17 forever to engage in her usual revelry. We love the way that this episode broached Caroline’s sadness about becoming a vampire at this point. As awesome of a character as she is now, it’s still an important thing. Bonnie, Elena, and (slightly surprisingly) Matt throw her surprise party which turns into a surprise “funeral” in the crypt, complete with alcohol and reminiscence about Caroline’s most significant life achievements.

Caroline and Tyler are texting, which always happens when you are drinking and emotional about a guy. Tyler comes to the crypt to talk to Caroline. Tyler gleefully tells Caroline that they can be together, because Klaus doesn’t control him when it comes to her. They start kissing and, of course, he bites her. This whole “sired” thing reminds us of that Saint Paul quote where he says, “I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do.” Tyler is tainted with a compulsion to do what Klaus orders, what he doesn’t want to do, even when he does not intend to do it. We feel bad for Tyler and sympathize with him. After all, Ern made a late-night run to Taco Bell for six tacos last night. Ern has clearly been sired by the Minister of Fast Food. He exists! He crawled into Ern’s bedroom at night! (Shut up, Ern.)

Matt and Elena go looking for Caroline, and Stefan shows up in the woods to smash (human!) Matt against a stone wall and kidnap Elena. Of course, Matt ends up without even bruises, gets up, finds Caroline sick on the ground, and takes her home to Sheriff Mommy. Soon, Klaus shows up to heal Caroline, in return for Sheriff Forbes’ invitation inside and “support.” Klaus is trying to get on the good side of the town and council. No one saw this coming, but Klaus is sweet on Caroline. Is it wrong that we are soooo excited and love this idea so much? Klaus feeds Caroline her blood and tells her that there is a whole world out there for her to explore, giving her hope for the future. Caroline wakes up and finds that Klaus left her a diamond bracelet that is much more mature than the stupid (but adorable) charm bracelet Tyler gave her earlier in the episode.

Meanwhile, Stefan puts Elena in his car, force-feeds her his blood, calls Klaus and tells Klaus that if the hybrids aren’t evacuated, Elena will be driven over Wickery Bridge. This is the same bridge where Elena’s parents died, making this the ultimate diss to Elena. Also, Stefan was always protective of Elena’s choice to stay human in the past. Klaus agrees to remove his hybrids from town and Stefan stops the car. Elena yells at Stefan, who replies that he doesn’t care what she thinks anymore. It’s a heartbreaking, important scene. Stefan drives away, leaving Elena on the bridge. Damon comes to retrieve her soon after.

Damon drops Elena off on the porch. Elena: “You’re not going to kiss me again.” Damon: “I know.” Elena: “It’s just not right.” Damon: “It’s right. It’s just not right now.” Clearly, Damon is writing this show and he inserted himself in as a character, because he knows what the audience knows - Elena and Damon are right, in some wrong way. Leeard spent the second half of this episode crying, off-and-on. This week brought the emotional depth along with the action, and we love it.

In addition to the main events, Alaric spoke with Meredith again. She is a founder’s heir, she knows about the vampires, she has an ex who hates her, and that ex ended up dead in the woods. He was staked in the heart, but he wasn’t a vampire. The episode ended with Sheriff Forbes deeming the killing a murder. This twist is just fan-flippin-tastic. We needed a new wrinkle in this season. We also want to mention that we loved Damon’s eye roll at Klaus upon seeing Klaus at the town’s party. It was such a Damon reaction to not respond to his presence with fear or concern, but with annoyance.

Also, Carol Lockwood has been alive for about two-and-a-half seasons too long. We trust the writers though, so we wonder what her purpose is going to be later. This show always has a reason for keeping people alive. Does anyone else remember thinking Caroline would be dead by episode five? Bonnie, self-righteous killjoy for the ages, said goodbye to Jeremy, who left town after spending the whole episode packing. We felt like we said goodbye to him last week, so we didn’t care much. However, there was a possibility that Bonnie was going to tell Jeremy about the compulsion, so we were glad when she simply said her goodbyes.

We love Bad Stefan after this episode. We kind of didn’t before. Paul’s acting felt forced and we hated that the show was ruining one of the healthiest relationships on TV. But we like seeing Stefan be badder than the show’s big bad. He really got the ball rolling, plotwise, with all the bluffing. The best move for Damon right now would be to get Elena to just leave town and hide her from Klaus until her death. And for them to kiss. A lot.

Episode grade: A

Glee First Listen Fridays

In case some of you don't know, if you like this on facebook, you will be alerted on your newsfeed every Friday when you can hear next week's Glee songs early.

http://www.facebook.com/gleethemusic

Or just go here on Fridays:

http://www.gleethemusic.com/us/episode/yesno

While we are here, we will tell you what we think of next week's songs. We usually change our opinions once we see the performances, but based on just first listens, here are the grades.

Summer Nights by The Cast of Grease - Mercedes and Sam sound great and improve on the voices from the movie. Some of the back-up people are more annoying. Overall, we give this a B+.

The First Time Ever I Saw Your Face by Roberta Flack - We were disappointed to hear Rachel in this, because it's already a dramatic song and her drama sometimes gets on our nerves. It's too "on-the-nose" for us.  It should have just been Mercedes, Tina, and Santana. Still. Lovely version, except the background music sounded a little "karaoke" or outdated. And the song is a little boring. B

We Found Love by Rihanna - We felt like this song really fit this show when we first heard that Glee was going to cover it. However, it is a currently overplayed hit and Rihanna has a perfectly nice voice. We don't think it's a necessary cover. They also autotuned the hell out of it, which is annoying. We also wish the show had brought some male vocals to this song. Overall, this is lame version and a wasted opportunity. C-

Wedding Bells by Fifth Dimension - Emma, Beiste and Sue are a great combination idea, so the song gets points just for that. This song is perfect for Emma as well. Now, most of us can agree that Emma's voice is not among the top 15 strongest on this show, but it's pleasant once they autotune it. This song is cute and has nostalgia factor, however, it's hard to listen to the whole song without it becoming shrill. B-

Without You by David Guetta - We love gender swaps, and this song is great for Rachel. We've complained about autotune on this show enough on this blog, but we must mention it here. A voice like Lea Michele's doesn't need autotune. This is probably our favorite song so far this week. A-

Moves Like Jagger/Jumpin Jack Flash was not available today for the listen, but Artie sings it. We are sick of this show's attempts at irony. We also hate Moves Like Jagger, especially now that we've heard it several million times. We know it will annoy us, however it sounds.

Next week is a bunch of Michael Jackson. While we love Michael Jackson's music, we are nervous, because the last time they did Jackson music was dull.

A Racist Parrot, a Magazine Cover, and a Sleazy Reporter

Parenthood - Just Smile

Crosby acted like a big baby when Adam ended up on the cover of a local magazine, along with a piece on the Luncheonette. All the drama was worth it for both Adam and the viewer when Max stated that his dad looked cool on the cover. Does anyone else hope that Amber ends up dating that politician? And bring on a baby for Sarah! Watching her with a toddler will be adorable, and you know always wanted to see clips of Lorelai Gilmore taking care of baby Rory. This is the closest thing to that. Julia and Joel’s kindness and patience with Zoe is rewarded when Zoe’s boyfriend (now ex) signs the adoption papers. Yayyy. We like Crosby’s new friend and probably love interest. 
Episode grade: A-

Revenge - Infamy

This is one time where we didn’t think the revenge was bad enough. A man lied to and manipulated a child to help his career. He should have lost a heck of a lot more than his house and memoirs. Things are really starting to heat up regarding Jack, Emily, fake Amanda, Daniel, and Victoria. Finding out that Charlotte is (potentially) Amanda Clarke’s half sister was a twist we didn’t expect, but we feel like we should have. Either way, it’s awesome. Of course this episode was good. It’s this show. But this episode was so much better and plot-thickening than that midseason premiere last week. 
Episode grade: A-

Happy Endings - Meat the Parrots

Dave’s father comes for a visit, bringing his new girlfriend. Dave’s dad is dating Penny’s mom, Dana, much to Dave’s annoyance and Penny’s glee. Alex gets a parrot to keep her company in her shop, but it is constantly saying racist things. Brad, Max, and Alex investigate a Chinese restaurant that they are convinced is hiding a brothel. Because it’s this lighthearted show, they are wrong. The racist parrot was a stroke of genius, and we always like seeing Megan Mullally. This episode was another winner for this show. 
Episode grade: B+

A post about the new show Are You There, Chelsea? is forthcoming.

Paul Rudd + Parks and Recreation

We heard about this a little while ago and we decided today would be the day to share the news with you who have not yet heard. Paul Rudd will be guest starring on Parks and Rec. Now, we love us some Paul Rudd, and one of us loves Parks and Rec.

But don't you think this is a perfect combination? Rudd fits the tone of the show perfectly. Most movie-star guests feel forced. We are expecting major cuteness on this collaboration.

Pretty Little Liars - A Hot Piece of A

Whoa, Hanna is so protective of Caleb. We thought she was going to bite the other girls’ heads off when they suggested Caleb hack the phone. Was Ashley Benson’s yelling a little too much? It sounded inauthentic to us at some moments.

Emily is finishing community service at a crisis helpline. Is that REALLY a good idea? Having juvenile delinquents counsel people going through crises? It’s like the troubled leading the troubled. Ern mildly wondered if that was actually a thing you could volunteer for if you don’t have any psychological qualifications. Ern is pretty much ONLY good to people in a crisis. It’s important to mix tough love with coddling and good TV recommendations to distract you through the hard times, right?

One of our favorite parts was when Aria’s dad busted her for her inappropriate outfit. Knee-highs are total slutwear, not schoolwear. They are for Halloween and the bedroom only. But they are no more outlandish than what Aria usually wears. Mr. Montgomery’s intervention was long overdue. If we can get rid of the tacky feathers AND Ezra, Aria might become a character we enjoy.

We have mixed feelings about the Ezra/Aria plotline right now. On the one hand, it’s phenomenal to see the Montgomery parents saying everything we’ve been thinking about the couple and trying to shut the lovers down. We’ve been waiting for the Montgomery olds to find out about this for AGES. On the other hand, the show is spending a lot of time on their drama. It felt like nearly half the episode revolved around them. We thought creepy thoughts when Aria’s dad told Ezra, “You were there for my daughter in a way her parents couldn’t be.” Ewww.

Hanna and Emily spent time studying for/taking tests. How do these girls still have the time and energy to care about grades? If someone was stalking and trying to kill us, we are pretty sure our GPAs would take a major hit. Ezra cut Aria off, because of her parents’ threats to go to the police. Aria decided to act like clingy, depressed Bella Swan in the second Twilight book and never let Ezra go. She called him multiple times, telling him to be patient. We know a new guy, Holden, is now in the picture, but we don’t think Ezra/Aria are over.

We were shocked when the caller was Lucas. It seems like he is the person who attacked Emily in the greenhouse as well. We are kind of sad, because we liked him. Instead of going right up to him and beating the poopies out of him, Emily was all nice and advised him not to do something he would regret to Hanna. Of course, there is an obvious ambiguity here. Lucas’ words fit his love triangle with Hanna and Caleb just as much as they fit a possible collaboration with A. For the record, one of us doesn't think that Lucas attacked Emily in the greenhouse. 

How dumb was Hanna for going out on the lake with him? It’s one thing not to believe he’s bad. But it’s another to take obvious risks when you should be keeping your eyes open, due to warnings. Even though Lucas probably isn’t as bad or involved with A as he seems, Hanna jumped the gun and nearly freaking killed him. Heck, she might have actually killed him. She knocked him on the head with an oar and he fell into the water.

The episode ended with Lucas underwater, the rowboat overturned. Ern was ticked that there was a such a big cliffhanger. It’s hard enough to wait week-to-week. Leeard doesn’t mind cliffhangers if they don’t come on a season finale. She can wait a week. In other news, Jenna left for Boston to get an eye operation and isn’t talking to Garrett. Spencer made out with Toby (yesssss). Noel Kahn and Mona are dating again. So far, the second half of the season is delivering revelations and action at a fast pace.

Episode grade: B+

New Show: House of Lies

Neither of us were too inclined to watch this show. One blogger just had little interest in the topic and show in general, because she knew that it would have lots of pointless, gratuitous sex (she was right, by the way). Also, she heard that it would be hard to find characters to root for. These people lie to and screw over other people who lie and screw people over. The other blogger was wary of how Showtime would handle her actual (future) career. The presence of Kristen Bell and Don Cheadle won out though (mainly because Leeard misses Veronica Mars on a near-daily basis).

As a pilot, the episode basically served its purpose: we were introduced to the characters and got a glimpse into who they are.  Marty Kaan is a womanizing management consultant with a cross-dressing son (Roscoe), nosy father (Jeremiah), and competitive ex-wife (Monica). Marty works with Harvard alum Doug, goofy Clyde, and awesome Jeannie (Kristen Bell). Presumably, since their firm, Galweather & Stearn, got the contract and afterwork, we’ll be seeing MetroCapital’s Greg Norbert again.

What happened: Roscoe auditioned for, got, and subsequently lost the role of Sandy in his school’s production of Grease; Marty brought a stripper on a business dinner who then hooked up with Greg Norbert’s wife in the restaurant bathroom; and Marty won over the client by finding them a way to get what they want while saving face. Also, we found out that Monica works for a rival consulting firm, which failed to get MetroCapital as a client.

What we liked: Kristen Bell and Don Cheadle. They have great chemistry, and we love them both in almost anything. Also, Roscoe is adorable. We can definitely see him getting annoying in the future, but for right now, he’s enjoyable. One of us also really likes the concept of the show; the business world is fascinating, and consulting is rarely on television.

What we didn’t like: The breaking of the fourth wall. It reminded one of us of the first season of Sex and the City, and not in a good way. SatC realized it didn’t work, and hopefully House of Lies will too. We assume that once they’ve explained most of their terminology, the asides will be minimized. Also, there’s no way a management consultant would wear her hair like Jeannie does. This is a nitpicky point, but it jumped out at us as inauthentic. Consulting is an image-based business, and while Kristen Bell is always beautiful, there’s no way a consultant would have hair that sloppy, especially when trying to land a client as big as MetroCapital. 

Verdict: We hear it gets better, but right now, it’s not must-watch TV. We’ll give it a few more episodes until we decide to drop or keep it.

Episode Grade: B-

I did not cry when the Challenger exploded

Once Upon a Time - Desperate Souls

Well, a good thing finally happened! Emma beat Sidney in the election for sheriff. Here’s hoping that means she will get a new jacket to wear. We are really starting to hate that red one. We were missing Graham, naturally, but this was still a good, heartfelt episode for the show to come back on. It’s about time we heard about Rumpel’s backstory. We thought it was really good, but it could have been better. It was almost creepy enough. We feel like the show needs to dip a little into the macabre, Brothers Grimm-style, but that might hurt its appeal with families, which is what is keeping it high in the ratings. We liked Gold’s manipulative plan and how Emma fell right into it with honesty. We like that Henry said Gold is worse than Regina. We need a big bad who is not her. She doesn’t scare us. Don’t get us wrong: we hate her. But we’re not scared of her. She’s a whiner.
Episode grade: B+

The Good Wife - "Alienation of Affection"

This one was intense. Our love for Carey just grew stronger with his pithy, brave little speech in his deposition. We also love Will’s choice of a lawyer, Elsbeth Tascioni,  She’s weird, brilliant, and tough. Will has this one in the bag. Elsbeth is just the person to stare down that awful hag, Wendy Scott Carr. That fight just got more interesting ... We're wondering, as near-professional women, is Alicia’s red suit appropriate for an attorney to wear? It’s super cute and we look good in red, but we think it’s questionable. Let us know what you think about that, if you know. We were chuckling at Diane’s new suitor. We like him and we hope they at least have a fling for a couple of episodes. Diane is really growing on us.
Episode grade: A-

Shameless - “Summertime”

This episode felt familiar. Frank owes someone money and gets the family into trouble, so the family has to march down and fix it. It’s actually a good episode for anyone trying to jump in on the show. If you can enjoy this episode, you will enjoy the rest of them. We were disappointed with Fiona for being co-dependent and not leaving town in the finale, but we understand that she cares for her siblings’ welfare before her own mental and emotional health. Justin Chatwin was absent this week, and we have a feeling that his return will be a high point the show wants to build to a little more. Frank and the family are still funny (the back of Frank's sign!), and we enjoyed seeing everyone’s summer jobs. The show is still fun. Maybe it’s even more fun, because it seemed less sad/more light-hearted. Poverty and addiction never felt less depressing. Maybe it’s because we all feel that each and every one of these kids are going to be alright, and Frank will keep doing what he’s doing, which is fine by us. All the kids have smarts and potential, which is completely unrealistic. They should be way more messed-up.

There’s still lots of debauchery to be had. Frank’s bar bet was pretty good. We could have told him it was a bad idea, had we been there. Tasers don’t always take people down when they are angry, filled with adrenaline, very large, or just badass. We wonder where the show is going from here and if the characters are ever going to change or have some sort of arc, as people. We like what they are doing with Lip in the academic world and we like that Cash is done living a lie (not that we think his decision was kind; we just like it for the show). Overall, this is a remake done right and we will be sticking around this season for more.
Episode grade: B

The Firm - Pilot

This one wasn’t bad, but it’s going to have to get a lot better to earn our viewership. Leeard already has Suits and Ern already has The Good Wife. We tend to like our legal shows in small doses. Plus, it’s been ages since the original The Firm movie that this is based on, and even longer since the book (both of which are better than this show). Does anyone still care about these characters? How many of you remember them? How many of you saw that movie in the first place. This might have been a good idea right after the movie, but now it just feels like one legal show too many.

All this show really did was remind us that we kind of want to be private investigators for attorneys, like Kalinda. There are a lot of storylines at work here, and one of them could get interesting. But this two-hour pilot didn’t win us over. We don’t like the main character either, nor do we find him particularly original or interesting. There were also too many flashbacks. However, there is potential here. We have a good premise. We may check back later (when there is a whole season to binge on), but, for now, we aren’t watching it. If you love legal shows, check it out yourself. It’s decent if you have room for another lawyer/shady firm show in your life. We really don't.
Episode grade: C+

This week's midseason premieres

How I Met Your Mother - Tailgate

This week, Ted told the story of Marshall telling the story of everyone’s New Year’s Eve. Stop telling stories within stories! This whole show is a story! For the midseason premiere, Robin still looked dumpy and was still mostly sad, but it’s good to see her career getting some life in it. We want to see some success for Robin after her woes earlier this season. Ted’s James Joyce commentary made us chortle, and the single audible laugh that escaped our lips was during the “Puzzles montage” of everything going wrong in Ted’s new bar. This episode wasn’t bad or annoying, but it won’t be one to remember. We DID tear up a little when Lily’s dad drove all night to see her though, as completely expected as it was.
Episode grade: C+

Revenge - Duress

Can we be Nolan’s beards? Please? We won’t ask any questions. We are getting pretty sick of the flashforwards on this show. It might be the only thing that Leeard dislikes about it. "Truth or Die" was a great game idea, Tyler, but it didn’t last long enough. No one told the truth and no one died. There was a lot of potential here with no pay off. And after they built it up with the flashforward… Ugh.
Episode grade: B-

Happy Endings - The Shrink, the Dare, her Date and her Brother

One thing we want to say about this show in general: You can’t half watch it. You have to pay attention and look at the screen. The jokes fly by fast and the characters are so zany, that if you are only listening, they can grate. If you are watching, focused, it’s one of the best comedies on TV right now. This episode was pretty good. Are Penny and Dave on now? Dave seems to be pretty over Alex. We hope Alex stays cute and that the show doesn’t make her a stereotypical stupid blonde…
Episode grade: B

The Vampire Diaries - The New Deal

Everyone knows we choke our chickens to this show. Which is why Ern is annoyed that so much of this episode felt like filler. TVD premieres usually knock our socks off, but we didn’t feel the threat when Klaus went after the gang. We worried about Alaric a little, because we love him so much, but we didn’t really think he was going to die. Ern may never like Tyler. There wasn’t enough (or any) Caroline. Something needs to change with this stalemate thing. The last couple of minutes were amazing though. OBVIOUSLY the kiss was the moment that Delena fans (us) have been waiting for. It was perfect. It took three seasons to have a decent kiss where no one was dying and no one was Katherine. It made sense that Elena and Damon had to get to this place of friendship and this place of Stefan being a douche in order to share that moment. We are getting a little sick of Klaus. He’s such a whiner. Bring on someone or something scarier. We got teary when Elena sent Jeremy away though. Just about no one thinks that plan will work in the long run, but it was a good idea (and honestly probably should've happened in the first season).
Episode grade: B- Last five minutes grade: A+

Parenthood - Road Trip

Is it just us, or did Parenthood feel a little too “sweet family special” this week? And Christina should NOT have caved. We loved when Adam got miffed at his daughter for spending all her time texting. We also get annoyed with people who pick phones over people who are actually present. Sarah was funny in this episode. But everything else was a little too sweet and perfect.
Episode grade: B-

Grey’s Anatomy - Suddenly

This might be the best midseason premiere of the week. We got a whole lot of depressing stuff, followed by one of the happiest moments on the show, ever. That’s how you tug heartstrings, show! Mix the bitter with the sweet. The family of patients and the oldest daughter’s passage into adulthood was inspired. We loved the glass in the youngest daughters eye and the way the show turned Mark’s girlfriend into an adorable, competent person, rather than someone for Lexie to just bean with softballs. We hope she sticks around…and doesn’t become annoying. Speaking of annoying, April still hasn’t grown on us after all this time. We loved Cristina’s impression of her voice. Spot freaking on. Way to keep it together and pretend to have fun during an impossible surgery, Cristina. And Owen should NOT have been mad at Cristina for breaking the news to Teddy. Yang kept her mouth shut long enough. We are really glad that Teddy didn’t freak out on Cristina like we expected from this show. Ben and Bailey are still an ongoing storyline. Stupid. We are glad the show made us think that Meredith and Derek really wouldn’t get Zola before giving Zola back to them. Teary eyes and lots of happiness ensued in our living rooms. Love Mommy Meredith.
Episode grade: A-

Secret Circle - Darkness

Diana’s grandmother came to town to thicken the plot and try to kill Cassie, to test Cassie and awaken her powers. Why are even the grandparents on this show more attractive than your average 25-year-old? This episode was good but we feel like the show is saving much of the forward-moving action for later episodes. We like Melissa starting to blow off Faye. We don’t need a circle member who amounts to little more than a sidekick, and Melissa has shown the potential to be our favorite Circle member. Charles and Dawn are on the outs too, which should be interesting. Cassie using her black magic on Adam after losing her temper was intense. Maybe this darkness is something to watch out for…
Episode grade: B+

Angry Boys - Episode 1

Chris Lilley of Summer Heights High has another show and it’s airing in the U.S. for the first time on HBO. We checked out the first episode, but internet-savvy readers will be able to find the whole first season on the web. This show features Lilley in playing multiple parts while spoofing the “culture” of modern young men. It’s pretty weird and not as funny as Summer Heights High yet. Nothing can really beat Mr. G, can it?

Lilly plays Nathan and Daniel Sims, 17-year-old twin brothers who aspire to run their dead father’s farm. Nathan is 90% deaf…and getting deafer every day. Daniel spends most of his time mocking Nathan. Nathan flips birds most of the time in response to everything.

The accents help this show be funny, and so does the profanity and the characters’ generally terrible attitudes. In Daniel, we have potential for another Jonah Takaluah. There is a lot of potential in the nearly silent Nathan as well. A lot of the humor feels forced at this point though, but it's good for a 28-minute pilot. It's crass, politically incorrect, and irreverent (all of which we love). 

Nathan and Daniel have a grandmother, also played by Lilley. “Gran” is an officer at the local Juvenile Justice Center. She is pretty racist but “gets results” for the justice center by being both mind-bogglingly mean and weirdly kind to the inmates. She makes them pajamas and does karaoke for them. Gran also has 23 guinea pigs. Later in the show, the boys’ favorite rapper will appear (also Lilley).

Overall, this isn’t something that we are going to follow weekly. On a rainy day, we will watch the full first season. If you liked Summer Heights High or are a fan of that kind of humor, this is a good pick. It’s not as good as SHH yet (if you haven't seen THAT show, we recommend it), but we can see Angry Boys getting funnier as the characters are fleshed out more. We like Lilley and we will definitely watch this one summer when we have more time.

Episode grade: B