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Thursday, September 23, 2010

America's Next Top Model- Patricia Field Review

It was the best of ANTM times (makeover), it was the worst of ANTM times (all the girls really suck at modeling). But it was all really entertaining. Not much model vs. model drama in this episode, but that’s ok, because we still have Tyra. Tyra loves to randomly pop into the girls’ houses and/or lives, so she can hear them scream with joy. You could actually see the “here I am, see and worship me” look of expectation on Tyra’s face right before the girls saw her. She walked in dressed like a high fashion Dickens novel, thus, the first line of this review.

Tyra announced that this week was makeover week, and we chuckled evilly. Makeover episodes are among the most entertaining staples on this show. One contestant, Ann, decided to team up with Lexie and another girl to pull a prank on the girls. They put a fake list of what all the girls were getting done to their hair in the house, and many girls fell for it. Lexie even pretended to cry when she read that she was getting a big, red afro. Lexie sure can act. Sadly, acting is not modeling. You’d think it would be, but it isn’t, because Lexie is one of the worst girls.

The makeovers came, and we tried to peg the crier early. We thought it would be Chelsey, because they decided to widen the gap in her teeth, taking her from cute to duck-like. Chelsey accepted it sunnily though. Terra was the crier, and we had no sympathy for her, because she looked way better with her new, shorter hair. Does this girl have a mirror? The show embraced long hair, for the most part, adding lots of body and extensions.

Here is a link to pics of all the cycle 15 makeovers (before and after):
That link also provides pics of the photo shoot.

Most of the girls ended up looking much better. Lexie looked like she was balding before Tyra had her hair darkened. She should keep it brunette. Liz’s hair got even shorter, and now we can’t decide if she looks like a strong, beautiful woman or a really hot guy. Sara was the worst. They gave her blonde eyebrows and brown hair. It just made her look like she has no eyebrows. People really need eyebrows. Only Milla Jovovich can rock the no-eyebrows look well. Kayla’s hair was dyed an awful, orange-red like the girl in the movie “Run Lola Run.” We don’t think anyone could pull this color off, and the haircut was nothing we would ever want. But the haircut went with Kayla’s face, which redeemed the look. Chris was excited to get extensions, holding them up and boasting, “I’m getting the Beyonce weave. This is the good hair. You can’t buy this on the street.”

Immediately, Terra was cut for being a baby. As viewers, we do not support this. It discourages future contestants from crying on makeover day, which is HALF THE FUN OF MAKEOVER DAY. What are you thinking, show? Then again, Terra didn’t have enough confidence or talent to really pull this off. Chris took her sister’s departure hard the first day. Without Terra to kick around and overshadow, her strength was dampened.

The photo shoot was “fallen angels” who had fallen in love with mortal men. Hellllll yeah, bring on the mortal men. The guys were really hot. This was good news for everyone except Kayla, but she still ended up pulling off “runner up best photo.” Kayla was this blogger’s early favorite, and we think only wild-card Ann has a chance of beating our pick. We liked Liz at first, but she has turned into SUCH a complainer and know-it-all. Esther had trouble connecting with her model because “he looks like a sexy version of Jesus.” He really did! Esther felt that it was wrong. “Maybe it’s a Jewish thing. I don’t know,” she said. We cackled. Kacey kept trying to inch her hand closer to her male model’s crotch during the shoot. On set, she flirted with him, despite having a boyfriend. Naturally, the other girls judged her for this.

At judging, not to be outdone by the girls’ new hairdos, Tyra had her hair all puffed out with curly extensions, and she looked great. Take note Chris: THAT is the Beyonce weave. You think Tyra would give it to you when she could just keep it for herself? Patricia Field, the woman who dresses the Sex and the City girls, was on the judging panel. She had the nerve to tell one model that her shirt was “too much.” Ummm, have you seen the way you dress Samantha Jones and Carrie Bradshaw, Pat? You can’t talk about too much. We love you though.

Lexie and Sara had the worst photos, but only Ann, Kayla, Chris, and Kelsey were halfway decent. Predictably, Sara was sent home. She is less of a character than Lexie. Plus, Sara has no eyebrows. Eyebrows are the source of your power/beauty, ladies. If you don’t believe us, take a look at any dumb trinket who over-tweezes . We felt sympathy for Sara, who felt guilt at the end of the night for letting her son down by leaving him and then not making it on the show.

Episode grade: B+ for entertainment

CW posts episodes on its site one week after they air. If you can’t catch it live, catch it a week behind.


  1. HILARIOUS recap! This episode was full of all the things that make me tune into this ridiculous show. Sara's makeover was so bad. The eyebrows thing was such a kiss of death! She looked like Charlize Theron in "Monster".

    I liked Liz better before she started whining about everything. I also have a conspiracy theory that Tyra likes to de-pretty the girls she thinks are prettier than she is, and that this was the case with Liz's boy hair.

    As for Gap Tooth McGee, I wonder if she knows that gap-toothed women are proverbially lascivious (Wife of Bath, anyone?).

    Also, Kacy's a little cross-eyed without the awesome glasses, yes?

  2. Thanks :)

    As to your theory, we wouldn't put it passed Tyra. We didn't notice Kacey's cross-eyedness, but we will be on the look out now