The Vampire Diaries - Bringing Out the Dead

Oh, it's on now, y'all. 

Damon hid the last coffin in the cave where no vampires can go, a stroke of genius since only vampires want it. Bonnie and Abby work together to open it, with magic, but it’s hard and Bonnie is understandably still pissed at her mom for that whole abandonment thing. Elijah is awake and finds a note in his pocket that says, “Dear Elijah, Let’s get together and plot the destruction of your brother. XOXO, Damon.” Excuse us while we die laughing. The two meet.

Caroline goes to the hospital to pick up her father and finds him in a storage closet, covered in his own blood and seemingly dead from being stabbed. But Meredith healed Bill Forbes with vampire blood, so he has it in his system and he wakes up, halfway to becoming a vampire. Well, Bill Forbes is not having THAT. He’d rather die. His beliefs are what make him strong or whatever. Caroline contemplates force-feeding him blood, but Elena tells Caroline that his choice is all he has. Caroline respects his decision, takes him home, and watches him die.

Before his death, Bill is able to tell Caroline that while vampirism isn’t for him, he fully loves and accepts his vampire daughter. This is good, because we don’t need a 900-episode arc about Caroline’s daddy issues and we don’t want her to be sad and feel hated by her dead father. Bill said, “"You’re strong, you’re beautiful, you’re good. And even after everything that’s happened to you, you are exactly who your mother and I hoped you’d grow up to be.” Then Caroline started saying, “Please don’t leave me, Daddy. Please, please don’t leave me,” and if you didn’t at least almost cry there, we think you’re crazy. But they made up, and that was a great conclusion to the Caroline’s father arc.

Elena and Matt come to Caroline’s to comfort her. Caroline asks about Elena’s experience losing her own father. Elena says it was hard when she realized what her dad would miss; the things you need your dad for. We think fantasy is at its best when it serves as an allegory for what goes on in the real world. Example: In Lord of the Rings, the ring represents evil/sin and its addictive, destructive nature. In an early episode, Blood Brothers, the show seemed to touch on suicide/giving up on life. Here, we are reminded that many people have living wills or refuse treatment, and their children have to respect that choice and watch them die. Like Bill said to Caroline, “This is life. This is what it means to be human.” So sad, you guys. But so good. Beautiful acting and writing, all around.

Damon and Stefan join Klaus for dinner at his home, and Elijah is there as well. They are there pretending to negotiate a deal, but they really just want to distract Klaus while Bonnie and Abby get the coffin open. Damon and Stefan offer to give Klaus the coffin if he and his family leave Mystic Falls. Klaus says he won’t leave without Elena, because he needs her for his hybrids. Klaus also tries to deepen the rift between the Salvatore brothers, pointing out that Elena will probably end up either dead or turned into a vampire because of their fighting. Either way, she will be unable to live a normal, happy life and he won’t be able to milk her for his hybrids. So true, Klaus.

Klaus and Elijah reveal that they too once loved the same woman and ended up putting bros before hos. The girl in question was Tatia Petrova, the first doppelganger. They didn’t even care that she had a child by another man, which is a big deal because back then (and still, in some religious circles) a woman’s worth was her virginity. Klaus and Elijah’s Mom took Tatia, who couldn’t decide which of the Original Brothers she wanted. We would have picked Elijah, because Klaus is a whiner with way too much red lipstick on in this episode. It’s Tatia’s blood that the Original Mommy mixed with the wine she used to turn her children into vampires. This shows that witches, vampires, and the doppelganger are even more connected than we previously thought.

During the dinner, Bonnie and her mom open the coffin and the Original Mommy knocks them both out and escapes. Oh, did we just skip right to the big reveal? Too bad, because you should have guessed anyway. That was the only thing it could have been. Elijah double-crosses Klaus and undaggers the entire family, with Damon’s help. The Salvator brothers leave Klaus’ siblings to deal with him. They are Rebekah, Kol, and Finn. Yay, two more hotties! Outside, Stefan and Damon both admit that they love Elena. They are near equals on the love front now. Let the real fight for Elena begin.

Liz Forbes comes over and tells Elena that the stake used to kill the medical examiner belongs to the Fellowship of the Falls and has Elena’s fingerprints on it. Even Liz knows Elena didn’t do it, and Meredith has a solid alibi. All this means is that someone is using the Fellowship’s own weapons to kill council members. Is it Katherine? Would she have Elena’s same fingerprint? It seems likely, but why? Luckily this show doesn't like to drag things out too much, so we'll probably find out soon.

Alaric is also knifed by an unseen attacker. He is bleeding out, so Elena has to finish the kill so that Alaric’s ring would save him from death by a supernatural creature. Yep, as the doppelganger, Elena qualifies as supernatural. Can she please get some powers from the doppelgangerness? Super speed? Something? How many times do we have to see Alaric die before we just don’t care anymore? When and if he actually does die, we’re not going to believe it for weeks. He’s the boy who cried dead. Take that ring away. The point of this whole thing was for us all to see that Elena was bad ass enough to stab Alaric, even though he is the last remaining adoptive adult looking out for her, and it might go all wrong. She does it. Matt looks horrified. Alaric lives, obviously.

The episode ends with the Original Siblings telling Klaus that they are going to leave Klaus all alone, right after they kill Elena so he can’t make anymore hybrids that have to be loyal him. Then he will be completely isolated, as he deserves. Sidenote: Is “wench” Rebekah’s best insult? Possibly, since she's from a time where saying that probably resulted in getting your mouth washed out with soap. The Original Mommy comes in the house and we are horrified. Not by her power, but by her face. We don’t know where she had plastic surgery, or how she could've while be being daggered in a coffin, but we know she has. Maybe Klaus is just thoughtful like that? Eh. It looks weird and distracting. Overall, she’s arresting, mostly because of her voice and manner. She’s like an evil, quieter version of Galadriel. She tells the siblings that she forgives Klaus and wants them all to be a family again. Uh oh. Does anyone suspect that there is more to Mommy’s plan and intentions than this?

So, we think this is the episode where the season is really going to kick off. All the coffins are over. The stalemate is done with. Elena has kissed Damon and both brothers have recognized that they are in a head-to-head rivalry for her. Katherine might be back. All the Originals are up and together. It looks like the show is ready to rumble and get its second half on. The year of the Originals is finally all about the Originals, and not just Klaus and his minions. We’ve got Matt and Caroline embracing and being all nice to each other, Tyler working on himself so that he can get Caroline back, and Klaus with his adorable little Caroline crush, so she’s about to have some major love drama. We can’t wait. Meredith is still enshrouded in mystery, but we don't like her so far.

This episode had a lot of heart with the dead dad stuff, plus it brought all the action and mystery we love. It seems like we have our old Stefan back. He seemed like himself when he told Damon he loved Elena. We’re not gonna lie, one of us thought this season was starting to drag a little with the Stefan/Klaus stalemate that has lasted freaking forever. In all fairness, when we talk about something lasing "forever" on this show, we mean like 5 episodes. But this ep was a game-changer, and you know we never use that term. There were no gasp-worthy surprising moments, and that’s what we usually love most about this show. But everything else was so good, the episode was still perfect. The show doesn’t have to knock our socks off or give us a shocking twist every week for us to love it. The best part is that we have no idea where the show is going from here.

Good lines:

• “You’re on speakerphone, dick.”- Alaric
• “My favorite Original!...You clean up nice.” Damon to Elijah
• "Hey Stef, remember when you killed Dad? Might want to dial down the judgment till dessert."- Damon
• "We're just buying some time before my wicked witches find a way to pop it open."-Damon

Observations/other stuff:

• When Elena and Matt stalked the Gilbert home with knives, following Alaric’s bloody handprints, Elena proved once again that she’s not a damsel in distress. She grabbed a knife right away and led the walk to Alaric. Elena was in front and Matt held up the back end, like a pansy (slash human). We loved it.
• Why didn’t we get to see Alaric’s drunk dial to Meredith?

Episode grade: A+