Red Hairing- Lindsay
Lindsay is living at Marky Bark's desert ostrich farm. She has an adorable short haircut.
Marky tells Lindsay that he was the one who tried to scare the CEOs off the desert land (the Native-American/Ostrich-looking guy who talked to George Sr. and Oscar. Marky and Lindsay are upset that they keep finding numbed desert animals that appear to be dead. Oh, Dr. Norman.
One year later, the apartment smells like urine and is nearly destroyed. Every time Lindsay walks in the door, she has to announce herself, because Marky's face blindness prevents him from recognizing her.
Marky tells Lindsay that he has a plan to bomb Herbert Love at the upcoming Opie awards. The bomb is just a glitter bomb. Silver glitter and blue ink.
Marky plans to hide in the podium with the bomb and wait until Lindsay knocks to let him know the coast is clear. Then he will pull the pin in the bomb and leave the podium. Thirty minutes later, the bomb will go off.
Lindsay would rather support Love's opponent, Lucille 2, but Marky says she's part of the problem. Lindsay has secretly been visiting Lucille 2 and was offered a position as her campaign manager.
Lucille 2 gives Lindsay a red wig and some clothes that are not made of hemp, for which Lindsay is grateful. Lindsay finds a check for Maeby in her mail for $50,000. It says, "From: Gangie 4 Facelift."
Lindsay confronts her mother, who is playing tennis in a high-end prison, for trying to buy Maeby plastic surgery. Lucille reiterates that she and Lindsay are similar people. Lindsay decides to help Marky in his radical plan to prove that she is an activist.
At the Opie's, Lindsay, wearing the red wig, sees her father and gives him the $50,000 check that Marky told her to rip up.
She also runs into her daughter Maeby, who respects her mother for attempting a protest. Maeby tells her mother that she is at the Opies to receive a lifetime achievement award for her work in the entertainment industry, but Lindsay doesn't believe her.
Lindsay meets Herbert Love but doesn't know who he is, because Marky showed her a picture of Nat King Cole, and he has face blindness. Lindsay really doesn't know music, because she didn't recognize the singer.
Lindsay and Herbert are attracted to each other and spend so much time flirting that Lindsay forgets all about Marky. Marky is in the podium when the bomb goes off, because Gob wedged the podium shut.
Marky is led out by police, and he's covered in the blue ink. This gives Lindsay an unattractive feeling of deja vu.
Herbert Love gives Lindsay his phone number and Maeby sees it. Maeby loses her respect for her mother all over again and tells Lindsay who Herbert Love actually is.
Marky looks for Lindsay, but she doesn't identify herself when Marky sees her. She catches a cab back to her penthouse. She's being evicted.
The next morning, Lindsay goes to visit Marky in prison. Marky's charges are serious and he needs the $50,000 check to help him out. Lindsay tells him that the check is gone.
Lindsay goes to the model home to give Maeby a piece of her mind for calling her a whore. Maeby surprisingly encourages Lindsay to go out with Herbert Love and even calls him herself to set up the date for her mother.
Lindsay goes out on her first date with Herbert Love, using the alias "Cindy Featherbottom." Herbert Love is a disgusting and obnoxious guy with the cheesiest sense of humor ever. She tries to get him to drop the charges against Marky, but Herbert Love distracts her with compliments.
Lindsay runs into her brother, who asks her to get Herbert Love to change his position on the proposed wall between the U.S. and Mexico. Lindsay agrees, but only if Michael will talk to the warden (who is part of Michael's movie dream team) into letting Marky out.
Michael agrees, and he also gets Lindsay to sign away her rights for his movie. Meanwhile, George Michael continues to avoid his father and cancel plans to hang out with him.
Lindsay and Herbert Love get a hotel room and have sex. Lindsay makes no actual political inroads, but Herbert Love makes her his "key advisor," so that he can keep her around.
Lindsay and Michael go on a double date together (with Rebel and Herbert Love). They pretend not to know each other.
Rebel Alley takes issue with Herbert Love's politics, and the night is not a fun one. Rebel ends up leaving early, and Herbert Love ditches Lindsay to spend time with his wife and kids.
Because Lindsay and Michael put their food on the Bluth tab, and Annyong was at the restaurant leeching off the Bluth tab, Annyong ends up stuck with the bill and loses his freedom.
The warden lets Marky out of jail just in time for Cinco De Cuatro. Marky plans to set off a real bomb on Love's boat on the holiday. He then plans to take Lindsay on a getaway boat to Mexico where they will meet up with her horrible mom.
At the celebration, Herbert Love dumps Lindsay after his wife finds out about them and then pays her for her services. Lindsay is shocked to find that Herbert Love thinks she's a prostitute and tries to throw the money back in his face. She cannot.
Lindsay runs into her mother, who knows that Lindsay has been Herbert Love's hooker. Lucille reaffirms that Lindsay should be who she is: an Orange County, Waspy princess who only cares for herself.
Lucille says it's okay to be this way. Lucille tells Lindsay that she is a Bluth.
Lindsay ditches the red wig and goes to get revenge on Herbert Love. She goes to Lucille 2 and offers to run her campaign, but Lucille 2 has already hired Sally Sitwell, Lindsay's longtime rival.
Lucille 2 tells Lindsay that Sally has a) integrity and b) beautiful long hair, so she is more qualified than Lindsay. Also, photos of Lindsay sleeping with Herbert Love all over town have surfaced. Lucille 2 wants to go viral with the photos so that she can win the election.
Herbert Love has gone missing at the Cinco event, even though he has a speech planned in front of several supporters. A staff member on his campaign grabs Lindsay, Love's "key advisor," and Lindsay agrees to cover the speech.
Lindsay starts out trying to turn the crowd against Herbert Love, but Hispanic rioters interrupt the speech, ruin Lindsay's necklace, and start trashing the event. Angry at them, Lindsay abandons her politics and revenge plan.
She starts saying that Hispanic people don't belong here and that there SHOULD be a wall to keep out the Mexicans. She leads the crowd in a chant of "put up this wall."
Lindsay says, "My name is Lindsay Bluth. And this is who I am." Herbert Love is found, but he's in a coma. Lindsay is asked to run in his place, and she accepts.
It's kind of beautiful (in a dark sort of way, because it is this show) that Lindsay ends up finding her place in the family. We are happy to see her ditch the fake activism, because that joke has been done over and over with this character.
Arrested Development was a very Bush-era show, politically, in its original run. The political jokes have been updated. Having Lindsay turn into a Michelle Bachman-type character is more timely.
This episode was superior to the first Lindsay episode, and we liked that one well enough. We also loved seeing Portia as a red head. The look works for her.
Episode grade: B+